Comforting Trust

Have you ever met someone who is going through something that you just experienced?

Well, I was re-reading the life journal from yesterday - because I lost my list :( - and a couple of things stood out to me.  Both were reminders, but I think they're needed reminders for me today.

First, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts  us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Sometimes I forget that my experiences aren't for me.  I mean, I know I need to learn from the things that I do and experience.  But I'm understanding that that's not the whole purpose behind why I have life experiences.  Of course, the first reason is to glorify the Father.  Another one, though, is clearly described in this verse  - I'm to comfort and encourage the people around me with the same comfort Christ gives me.  We all have common experiences, right?  Everybody faces joy and sorrow in various forms, and the amazing thing about the Lord is that He gives us the gift of comfort.  The thing about gifts, though, is that we're supposed to give them away.  Don't hold on to the comfort you receive.  Share it gladly with the people around you who need it most.

Second, 2 Corinthians 1:9, "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.  But that was to make us rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead."

Need I say more?  God's calling me and you to trust Him.  Completely.  Entirely.  Even unto death.  It amazes me how fully Paul trusts God.  Here I sit thinking about how hard it is for me to let go of things and truly trust the Father, and Paul responds with, "It's no big deal!  Even if I die, God raises dead people to life..."  To some that could seem arrogant, and maybe he was, but is he wrong?  Not at all.  Paul is completely correct to be that confident in the Lord.

I suppose the question is, am I?

Food for Thought

It seems like the South has developed a culture in which certain things or behaviors, are taboo, but no one really wants to come out and address them.  But, isn't that what counseling classes teach you to do when resolving conflict?  Confront the issue?  It has gotten to the point where people either pretend it doesn't exist or are just afraid to say anything at all, but they still talk about it.  They still judge people who participate.


I know I do.


"Gee, Jacob, is that what this post is about?  You're just going to rant about something?  Sit on your high horse and judge people for doing what you won't say anything about?"


Actually, no.  Could I?  Sure.  If I wanted to completely alienate everyone around me for being sinful by judging them, yeah, I guess I could.  No, what I really wanted to use this post for was a declaration of sorts.


A decision.


It's been a long time coming.  There have been many mistakes made and I know I've waffled back and forth on the issue over the years, but I think I have it down.  I got a little confirmation this morning in my life journal reading.


"Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble."  1 Corinthians 8:13


The first thing that comes to mind when I read this verse is alcohol.  Yes, I said it, alcohol.  That bitter spirit that can take years to make and seconds to consume.  Now, I want to be very careful when I say this, so let me make things very plain:


I AM NOT CONDEMNING OR ADVOCATING ALCOHOL OR ITS CONSUMPTION!


This post is entirely about me (sorry for the selfishness) and a decision that I have come to.  I just was clearly reminded this morning and felt the need to share.  Here it is.  Take it with a grain of salt if you will.


The huge dilemma, it seems to me, with alcohol is that there are groups for and groups against it.  Some say that you should never have any, others it's okay in moderation, others say 'Drink and be merry!'


I suppose I could sum my thoughts in a few points:


1.  According to the Word, if I partake and cause a brother or sister to stumble then I have sinned against them and Christ.  Bad move.
2.  According to the Word, Christ came to set me free from the law so it's my choice to partake or not.


I don't know about you, but this leaves me a little adrift.  Which do I pick?  How do I make a choice that lets me have my freedom but doesn't hurt my brother in Christ?  Here's a logical thought:  What if I only drink around the people that I know are okay with it and don't drink around the people who aren't?  That way, I can be free to do as I wish and also make sure that I don't cause a brother to stumble...


Oops...


That's all well and good, but what about the situation where a person from each group is present?  If I drink, the one brother stumbles.  If I don't, the other one sees my hypocrisy.  I hurt my witness either way.  Neither of those options is acceptable to me!


I'll close with this:


"I choose not to drink alcohol.  I don't think that it's wrong nor do I judge the people who choose to drink.  But, I am choosing not to."


I would rather go without something I have enjoyed before in order to save my witness on both accounts than hurt my witness with either person.  Is it worth it?


I think so.


What about you?

Silence

Sometimes, silence is an incredible thing.  It brings me closer to the Lord when I'm meditating on His Word.  It can also speak volumes.  Here's what I'm doing on this Tuesday, October 20th.  I encourage you to participate with a red arm band or your own silence.

Past, Present, Future

What tense am I living in?  It struck me this morning as I was reading in Acts that every day is a choice for me.  I can choose to live in the past, the present, or the future.  Here's the verse that set my mind to thinking:

"Men of Galilee, why do you stand there looking into heaven?  This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw Him go into heaven."  Acts 1:11

I was reading this passage and it just struck me.  I prayed for God to show me something I hadn't really seen before, and the words themselves began to imply a deeper meaning to me.

"..why do you stand there looking into heaven?..."  Why?  Because the followers of Christ were reminiscing about the days when He was there with them.  They seem to be dwelling in the past and wishing for those days to still be here.  I do the same thing.  I either think about the good things from my past and wish they were still here, or I dwell on the bad things in my past and regret them.  Neither of which is good for me to do, and I think that's why the angels asked that question.

"This Jesus...will come in the same way as you saw Him go..."  The angels are reminding me that Christ is coming back.  It's a promise!  I don't have to sit and worry about whether or not Jesus is coming back.  It's going to happen.

I think the message in this passage for me is this:  I can learn a lot from my past, good or bad.  I can eagerly anticipate everything in my imagination of what the future holds.  But the implied message for me from these angels in Acts is to live for today!  They're gently reminding me of the call of the Great Commission on my life,  that I need to let the past go, let the future bring what it brings, and do everything I can to serve God today.

So, what tense are you living in?

Temptation

Sometimes, for whatever reason, I'll start thinking about temptation and why it even exists.  Maybe a conversation I've had or something I've seen on television.  And I wonder why there is such a battle between flesh and spirit and question whether temptation is even necessary.

I mean, is it?  If a Christ follower is trying to seek the Lord and follow His plan for their life, is temptation really necessary?  Doesn't that just serve to throw them off the track of where they should be or where they want to be?  I know the typical response that we're all sinners and because our flesh is naturally inclined to choose sin over righteousness we'll obviously be tempted to do wrong.

But those are still hard questions.  And on some level, that answer isn't really good enough for me.  Something inside of me wants to know more and wants to understand better.  I think I found my answer, at least in part.

"And Jesus...was led by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil."  Luke 4:1-2

What?!  I mean, I knew this passage was in the Bible, but I don't think I really knew what it was implying!

First, I'm told that Jesus was led by the Spirit.  Of course, He was in tune with what the Holy Spirit was doing in His heart and followed.  An incredible example, I must say.

But during those forty days, He was tempted.  That means the Spirit led Him into it.  That means the Spirit knew, beforehand.  That means it was always in God's plan for Jesus to be tempted.  There was purpose to it.  There was meaning behind it.  There was opportunity for God to be glorified in it.  Wow.

That means the temptation I face, the temptation you face - it has meaning and purpose and will ultimately glorify God!  That's a hard pill to swallow for me.  My weakness screams that I can't do it, the temptation is too much, why do I have to go through this because it's too hard to handle!  My heart breaks for people who give in to temptation every day, and I think it would be so much better if we didn't have to go through all of that - BUT God's purpose is bigger than that.  He has reasons I may never know.

All I know is that if Jesus trusted the Spirit to lead Him, and if Jesus trusted the Father not to tempt Him more than He could bear, and if Jesus could find a way to answer temptation with Scripture, and if Jesus could be the example for me; then I want to follow that example.

Obedience

I've always thought that, as far as Christianity goes, relying wholly on God is the hardest part.


I don't know about you, but when it comes to my life it is really easy for me to say, "It's my life!  You can't tell me what to do or not do!  I know how to run it better than You!"  Let's face it - I'm a sinner, an outright sinner, and I'm naturally inclined to be selfish and prideful and stupid when it comes to doing what God wants me to do.


That said, over the years I've almost come to grips with the fact that I must obey God.  It's not an option for me as a Christian to pick and choose what I want to obey Him on and what I want to call my own shots on.  I still think sometimes, though, that I make excuses for myself.  Maybe there's something that I know God wants me to do and I would have done it anyway, so I obey.  Other times there's something that I know I'm called to do and it makes me...


uncomfortable...


scared...


vulnerable...


...and because it makes me feel those things, I choose not to obey, using those feelings as excuses for my disobedience.  Then I get to this morning and when I start reading, I find this:


"Whether it is good or bad, we will obey the voice of the Lord our God to whom we are sending you, that it may be well with us when we obey the voice of the Lord our God."  Jeremiah 42:6


Did you hear that?  Yeah, that was Jeremiah punching me in the face with conviction.  I mean, how obvious does God have to get before I listen to Him?


"Whether it is good or bad, we will obey..."  I am being blatantly told today that obedience to God is never an option, excuses are never good enough, and obedience doesn't even mean that it's something I want to do.  My job is not to decide what commands I will or won't obey, it's just to obey.  Without question.  Without whining.  Without delay.


The good news, though, is that God is also encouraging me today.  It's like He came up and gave me an ice pack to deal with the punch I just got.


"...that it may be well with us when we obey the Lord our God."  How awesome is that?  Even though obeying God may take me down a road that seems bad to me, it will still end well.  God will still take care of me and make sure that everything is okay in the end.  It may hurt, make me scared, make me uncomfortable, make me vulnerable, but God is still in control.  He still holds the world in His hands and He still carries me through all of it.

My Story

Yesterday after church I had pretty much decided that I should post my story on here because the sermon just convicted me to respond in that way.  This morning as I was reading I came across this verse, which altogether confirmed that I should write out my story for this post:


"And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."  Revelation 12:11


*Sidenote - Even if the sermon hadn't been about telling my story to the people around me, I still would have loved that verse because of the ending phrase - 'for they loved not their lives even unto death' - and I would have posted about it anyway.  I would have talked about sacrifice of my own life for Christ, even if it led to death.  "I may live and I may die, either way You're glorified."


But today I want to - no, I must write my story.


My parents became Christ followers when I was two, so I basically grew up in a Christian home.  I have been in church ever since I can remember and I learned about Jesus from a very young age.  Since I found Christ at the age of seven, it is hard for me to remember what my life was like before Christ.  I wasn't old enough to get into much trouble, but I remember doing things that I knew were wrong.


When I was seven, after hearing about Jesus many times at church, I went to my parents and asked them what it was all about.  They pulled out the Bible and explained very simply that we are all sinners and that Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we wouldn't have to go to hell.  That was a simple explanation, but it was more than enough for me.  My Dad asked me if I wanted to pray with them and ask Jesus to come into my heart, but I said that I wasn't ready to do that yet.


I was ready though.  Very ready.  I only said I wasn't ready because I think I was scared of being vulnerable and admitting my sins in front of Mom and Dad.


I went back into my room and climbed into bed, but I couldn't sleep.  I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I took care of business with God.  So, I knelt down beside my bed and started telling God every sin that I had committed that I could think of and how sorry I was for doing them.  Then I told God that I knew I needed Jesus in my heart and would He please come in and be my Lord and my Savior.


It is one of the earliest and clearest memories that I have.


About two weeks later I went down the aisle to tell the pastor that I had found Christ and a week after that I was baptized.


Now here I am, seventeen years later.  What a long way I have come!  I know that I have had my ups and downs, I have made choices that were far from correct, but I am most definitely closer to the Lord now that when I started.  God is teaching me more and more every day about what it means to rely on Him for the strength I need, how to lead my family in a Godly way, what my place is in serving His kingdom, and how best to glorify Him with my life.  There are so many verses that I keep going back to, learning something new from them every time, but two things really stand out for me over my life so far.


First is a quote from Oswald Chambers, "Grow where you are planted."  I need reminding all the time that my purpose is to do what God has called me to do, wherever He has called me to do it - no complaining!


Second is Psalm 46:10, "Cease striving and know that I am God.  I will be exalted amond the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  What a great command for me because I have trouble with sitting still.  I want to run around all the time doing stuff for the Lord, but God wants me sitting still sometimes, waiting on Him and His perfect timing.


I will never be the same.

The Gap

Sometimes when I read a verse in the Bible I don't feel like God is telling me TO do something, rather I feel like He's telling me specifically NOT to do something.

For instance, in the Ten Commandments where it says not to murder. My inclination is to think, "God's telling me not to murder because He says it's wrong." Pretty straight-forward, right?

Try this verse then:

"And I sought for a man among them who should build up the wall and stand in the breach before me for the land, that I should not destroy it, but I found none." Ezekiel 22:30 (emphasis added)

Today is a day when I feel like God is specifically telling me not to do something. I feel like He's telling me not to let this verse be true. I feel like He's telling me not to let the verse that follows happen, which is the utter destruction of the land and its people. It's just like there's this huge neon sign pointing it out to me.

Of course, I also feel like God is telling me very specifically what to do and be about. First and foremost, God wants me glorifying Him and giving all of my life toward that end. But, especially looking at this verse, I think He's calling me to stand in the breach. When no other man will stand for Him, I must. Where none are found, I must be found. To be honest (I know, I usually am...), I think this verse is applicable to every Christian but I feel like it's specifically for the men.

It should never be that God finds no men in the breach, standing for Him, building up the wall, and protecting the land!

Men of faith, rise up! Stand firm where the Lord has called you to stand! Glorify Him with your actions and words and thoughts. Use your God-given talents to build up the church, to defend His people, to protect the land He has provided us with.

Where am I today? Where are you today? Can we be found hiding safely somewhere or are we found standing firmly in the gap?

Storage

The last few weeks have been a blur with the start of school, new developmental stages with our daughter, my sister getting engaged, writing a play and all kinds of events that have just plain kept us running. It's really easy to get so caught up in life and not come here to chronicle it. This just doesn't make the list of priorities if I'm strapped for time.

Not to say I haven't been reading (although, I do miss days). The last few days have been a little bit in the Psalms and Ezekiel, but most of my time has been spent reading about the last days in Revelation. It was exciting at first for me because I was hoping for a fresh perspective, some new lesson that I hadn't heard before, something that might help me grasp the whole book better. Let's be honest here, Revelation is hard!

I told Beth last night that I feel like I haven't really gotten anything new out of this book, and it's a little disappointing for me. She is so right-on sometimes because she reminded me about something that I had let slip my mind, (and here I'm paraphrasing)

"Just remember sometimes you're storing up for another time."

Gah! Just like Paul, she just gets to the heart of me! There will be a time when I need what I've read in Revelation, I just may not be able to see it right now. Or what if I didn't read it for me but to share with someone else? I can't always know what God has specifically in mind for each day or week or month or year in my life, but I can be faithful. I can study His Word, I can pray, I can seek to glorify Him in everything. He'll use me when it's right. He'll bring these Revelation songs back to my mind when the timing is perfect.

Isn't that just it? I don't always know how He'll do it, but He will be glorified. Amen.

**Just curious, but do any readers out there have any lessons from or tips on how to read Revelation?**

Peace

Long story short, for the past week or so as I've been reading the Bible I've been coming across verses that made me question my salvation a little. It made me unsettled because I still remember the day I gave my life to Christ like it was yesterday. To be honest, I really started questioning and wondering if God was trying to tell me that I only thought I had been a Christian all these years. Today, in Jeremiah 17 I read,

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick, who can understand it?"

That was a huge tipping point for me because I just really started worrying more than before. So I prayed. Halfway through my reading this morning I couldn't handle the worry anymore, so I just prayed:

"God, I know what you've done in my heart. I can see things that you've taught me through the years about yourself. I remember coming to you more clearly than anything. Please give me peace about my salvation, strength to keep pursuing your will, and the courage to do your will when I figure it out."

Feeling a little better and more at peace just from giving my worry to God, I continued in my reading. This was the first verse I read:

"I have said all these things to you to keep you from falling away." John 16:1

...and then this...

"...for the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God." John 16:27

...and then this...

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace." John 16:33

If that's not an answer to prayer, I don't know what is! I feel like today was just for me, but I hope that it's an encouragement to some of you who read this.

Satisfaction

While I was reading this morning I found something that either I had overlooked or just never seen before, and yet again it was thought-provoking and convicting for me.

In John 14, Jesus is talking to the disciples about being the way, the truth and the life. Then, this is interjected:

"Philip said to him, 'Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.'"

I think it's commonly interpreted as a misunderstanding. Obviously even Jesus thought that because of the way that he answers Philip's question. But I couldn't help thinking, "What if Philip didn't misunderstand? What if he got it better than any of the disciples?"

I mean, Philip has just been told that the only way to the Father is through Jesus and he has two responses:

1. He wants Jesus to lead him to the Father.

2. He is completely satisfied with that and nothing more.

How often do I ask just to be lead to the Father? To sit at His feet and glorify Him for who He is and what He's about? Often enough, I suppose. But I could certainly ask more. I could desire it more. Am I going to be satisfied with worship on Sunday and Wednesday? Or am I going to never let anything stop me from worshipping my Savior until God calls me home?

How often am I satisfied with just the Father and nothing more? Not nearly as often as I should. I don't think I could even count how many times I've asked God for stuff that I wanted or made deals with Him in tough situations. If God is as great and sustaining and incredible as I believe He is, why do I not settle for just being with Him?

Philip may have misunderstood Jesus at the time, but he sure did know how to ask a penetrating question.

Lord, show me to the Father, and it is enough for me.

Glory

John called me out this morning: "...for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God." John 12:43

Here I was, boppin' along, almost to the end of my reading for the day, and I literally thought, "I don't feel very convicted about anything. Maybe God is giving me a break to focus on other lessons He's taught me." HA! My insides feel like He just body-slammed them all over the place.

I am painfully reminded today that all too often I seek the praise of man for the things that I do in life. I don't think that John is saying the praise of man is bad by any means. I mean one of the major ways that I encourage the people around me is by praising them for something they've said or done. I think even that praise is a very good thing. BUT, a dangerous thing happens when we trade normal praise for glory. When I lift someone or something up to a place of distinction, honor, even adoration - that's when I get in trouble. That's what John is talking about here. It's even worse in this example because John is refering to people who believe Jesus is the Christ and will not confess it because they value the glory of man more than the glory of God.

How many times in my life have I done that? I can't even say anymore because my heart is too heavy.

Timing

The thing about the Bible, to me, is that no matter what I happen to be reading for the day, it always seems to convict me about something. Now, I don't really know if I like that or not! I mean, on the one hand it means that the Bible is relevant to life and I am definitely okay with that. But on the other hand it implies that I have a lot of junk in my life that needs convicting about, and to be honest I don't like admitting that I'm sinful and have things that need fixing! Wouldn't it just be easier if God could let me be and not keep forming me into His image?

Anyway, here is yet another example of the conviction of the Word in my own life:

"Jesus said to them, 'My time has not yet come, but your time is always here.'" John 7:6

When I first read that verse this morning, I thought, 'Oh, yeah, Jesus is talking about how His time on the cross has not yet come, He's just biding His time until the final act when He saves us all from our sins.' But something struck me and I had to read it again.

I think it was the word 'always' that did it. Here I am reading a verse and passing all the responsibility of glorifying God through sacrifice onto Jesus, when the whole key to this verse rests on me and my calling. Jesus said, '...your time is ALWAYS HERE.' I feel like maybe an exclamation point needs to go there because He is emphasizing my responsibility as a Christian.

What am I here on earth for? "To glorify God and enjoy Him forever." I'm not here to just be laissez-faire and say that someone else can share Christ with the people of this world. I'm not hear to just have "fire-insurance." I am here on earth to give my whole life in sacrifice to God. I am here to give up my wants for His wants, my desires for His desires. I am here to share Christ with every person that I meet without regard for consequence, reputation, or anything!

And what do I do instead? I sit, stand, walk, and talk through life while letting opportunity after opportunity pass me by to share the love of Christ. I push my responsibility off onto other people, but go to church regularly and worship so that I can feel good about myself.

Like Penn Jillette (an atheist) so convictingly said in a recent video, "How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible, and NOT tell them that?"

Arise

This passage has been stuck in my head for almost a week now. I think mainly it's because the verses are utterly convicting and totally encouraging at the same time. Maybe I should share them with someone?

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you and his glory will be seen upon you. And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising." Isaiah 60:1-3

How encouraging is it to know that the Lord is shining so brightly for us to see in this pit we live in for the time being? He loves us and He's bringing us out of the darkness!

But, I have been seriously convicted as well. The first two words seem like commands to me. They just punch and poke and prod at me.

Arise!

Shine!

Am I? My prayer is that every day I rise up and shine the glory of the Lord that has risen upon me. I suppose having to ask myself that question means I haven't been doing a very good job. May I continue in conviction until His kingdom comes.

Wisdom

I realized this weekend that there are people who actually read what I write on this blog.  I know it's not much (or very often!  Thanks, Tim!!), but it's encouraging to know that some people are following my often scattered thoughts along this journey.

Reading this morning was pretty good for me.  The LifeJournal had a passage from the Psalms and 2 Thessalonians, but the one that really struck me was 1 Kings 3:5-15.  It's that story I've heard since I was child.  You know, the one about Solomon being asked by God, "What do you want from me?  I'll give you anything you ask!"

Now, at this point, I'm thinking, "Anything?  Okay, well, I really want a million dollars and that new computer I saw and a new car that doesn't squeak every time I turn and a new pair of shoes and an iPod with more memory and 36 hours in a day so that sometimes I don't feel so rushed for time and...and...and..."  Let me just be honest, I like stuff!  If God told me He'd give me anything - well, I think I'd have the hardest time just narrowing it down to one thing.

Solomon, on the other hand, seems like he had a cheat sheet or something.  He hit the nail on the head and asked for exactly the right thing.  He said, "Lord, I'm young and I want wisdom to lead Your people."  What?!  Who does that?  I mean, he's like the same age as I am right now when God asks him this.  I seriously thought when I first heard this story that Solomon would answer, "Yeah, um, I was really hoping for a new chariot with those 42 inch spinners and gold spokes.  What about that hip new harp player?  Can he be on my permanent staff?"

My favorite part about the answer that Solomon gives, though, is this.  In verse 7 he says, "...although I am but a little child."  I never really noticed this before, but Solomon just speaks volumes to me about himself by saying this.  First, he is showing me how humble he is.  I mean, when God asks me what I want I'm thinking of all this stuff, but Solomon just lays it out there that he is young and doesn't know how to do this job that has been passed to him.  He humbles himself  in front of the Lord and that is just impressive to me.  What an example!

I think the thing that I realized just this morning about Solomon was how wise he already was when God offered him everything.  Solomon was wise enough to recognize his youth, his inexperience, and ask for help.  He didn't ask for riches or power because he already knew that none of those material things could help him lead Israel.  He was wise beyond his years before he even asked for wisdom and that is so impressive to me.

I guess the question I'm asking myself now is, "Am I asking for stuff or wisdom?"

Steadfast

Even people like David, Moses, and Abraham, giants in our faith, had difficult times.  They struggled with this sin nature that we all carry inside.  They had hurts that seemed to them too much for one heart to bear.  Yet, they made it.

I wonder sometimes how they did it, how even when life was the most difficult it had ever been they found the strength to hold on.  David explains it pretty well in his Psalms:

"In You, O Lord, do I take refuge...you are my rock and my fortress...I trust in You, O Lord...O, how abundant is your goodness...Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me..." Psalm 31

All of Psalm 31 that I didn't write down were bad things that kept happening to David, things that were wearing him down and making him feel abandoned, but David keeps coming back to the Lord with gratitude for the things he has done and trusting him to continue proving his steadfast love.  David had his priorities straight.  First, worship God.  Second, everything else.  I think an adjustment might be in order.

Truth

'Beware, your sin will find you out!' - Paraphrase of Numbers 32:23

I cannot count how many times I heard that from my dad growing up.  He always had a verse from the Bible to back up what he was admonishing me about, and that one was for the stuff I had done that he hadn't found out about yet!

The older I get though, the more I realize just how wise my dad is.  And it's not just knowledge about the Bible.  It's common sense stuff, too.  I hope I have that good of a head on my shoulders when I'm his age.  He was right to quote that to me, it resounds in my head every time I do something wrong.  He's reminding me subconsciously that even if I think I got away with it (like cutting the cat's whiskers with scissors), I really haven't.  Even if someone on earth never knows what I've done, God knows.

As I was reading in 2 Corinthians 13 this morning, my dad popped into my head again.  Paul is telling the church in verse 8, 

"For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth."

The truth always comes out, always wins, always rises to the top of whatever situation.  Paul is reminding me that honesty really is the best policy.  What's harder to remember?  The truth or a lie?

Or a lie that covered up a lie that you told the other day to protect another lie you told last week which was really just a rearranging of the details to cover someone else who lied for you two years ago to cover up something you did and just now had to lie about again because the first lie was told and if you told the truth now then the first lie would have been a waste of time because then everyone would know that it was really a lie?

Who wants to live like that?!  How much harder is it to just tell the truth?  You have to live with the consequences of either decision, except that if you tell the truth then the consequences are over with a lot sooner...

Come and Listen

I was talking to someone yesterday who is struggling with the internal battles that Paul talks about in Romans 7:

"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.  I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

He sounds a little schizophrenic, but he's right!  I feel the same way sometimes.  We all feel that way sometimes, and this person is right there.  Oh, how I empathize!  I felt like I could really say, "Been there, done that," and mean it.  I could speak from my own life yesterday because I have definitely been there.

Interestingly enough, the Life Journal reading for today seemed so applicable to yesterday's conversation.  In Psalm 66:

"If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.  Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!"

Wow, that speaks to me.  It is so encouraging that God doesn't turn away from us.  That even when we fail, if we cry out to him, he comes and loves us anyway.

And then in 2 Corinthians, Paul is talking about how God comforts the downcast and that sometimes our sin brings deep sorrow to our hearts, but that sorrow leads us to a clearer view of who God is and what he is about.  That sorrow produces "earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."

Paul - you are a genius!  Why are you so encouraging to me?  Oh, yeah, because you're a real person.  You don't try to hide behind some mask.  We know you struggled with sin, we know you messed up, but you still kept doggedly on toward the prize.

God, thank you for an example like Paul!  A real man, with real issues, who just plain got it.  Thank you for speaking through him into my heart.  I need that encouragement sometimes.

What Rights?

Joshua 20 and 1 Corinthians 9 were today's reading from the Life Journal.

To be honest, Joshua 20 didn't seem to me like it really fit with 1 Corinthians 9, unless I were to start really pulling things apart and took the time to "make it fit."  So, I just focused in on Paul's letter to Corinth.

1 Corinthians 9 struck a nice chord in me, and by "nice" I mean "smacked me in the face until I cried a little."  Paul is too convicting for me most days, and today was not an exception.  First, I loved how the entire chapter (at least in my Bible) was titled "Paul Surrenders His Rights."  In my head as I was starting to read this chapter, I was thinking, "Great!  This is already convicting me, and I haven't even read any verses..."

Anyway, Paul is defending some decisions that he has made for the sake of furthering the Gospel.  Then one of my favorite verses of all time, and especially in this chapter, comes along:

"...I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some." 1 Cor. 9:22b

I know I've said this before, but GAH!  Why'd you have to go and say that Paul?  You mean I need to do whatever it takes to bring people to the Kingdom?  You mean I have to give up my "rights" so that people will know Jesus?  Paul even went so far as to say that he would live under the law to save the Jews and give himself a little more freedom from the law, without sinning, to save the Gentiles.

The questions I'm asking myself this morning, then, are these:  Am I being ALL things to ALL people so that some might be saved?  Am I willing to doing anything for the sake of Jesus Christ's call on my life?

There are too many days in my life where the honest answer to those questions is embarrassing.

Battle

"And swelling up inside of us, there's this pride in us, this arrogance
And our only line of defense is the sense that I'm not as half as bad as this friend of mine, so I
must be fine
We mean well, don't we?"
~Jimmy Needham

I was reading in 1 Corinthians 8 this morning (yay, Life Journal!), and it was about not eating food sacrificed to idols. While that is literally applicable to some cultures, I don't know of anyone in the U.S. who regularly struggles with this issue. However, I do think this chapter is still completely convicting for my own heart.

It seems to me that the bigger issue in this chapter is pride. These new Christians were getting thrown off track, stumbling, because the more experienced Christians were proud of the fact that they could eat meat sacrificed to idols. "It's only food. Idols are stupid anyway! We only believe in one God, don't we?" They were prideful! That's what made me think of the Jimmy Needham quote up there.

What they should have been doing was looking out for their less-experienced brothers, setting an example for them because they were too immature in their faith to choose for themselves. See, Paul even says at the end, "Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble." Why does he say this? Because he won't eat meat anymore?

Sure. I guess if it came to that, he wouldn't. But I think the real reason he said something so extreme was because he thinks it's more important to look out for the best interests of his brothers and sisters in Christ. Sounds reminiscent of Philippians 2...

So my question for myself today - what is winning the battle in my life? Pride or Love?

Reality check...I think all to often it's pride...

Weather...or Not

There are two questions I really need to ask myself, probably on a daily basis.

First, do I trust God with all of my life, big or small, even the weather?  I was reading Psalm 29 this morning and it's David just praising away because God takes care of even the weather.  A little thing that we deal with every day, that we don't even really think about because it's nothing that we can do anything about.  And yet, God controls it.  He decides each day whether it will be sunny or rainy, hot or cold.  If He takes care of that, how much more concerned is He of taking care of all the rest of the stuff in my life?  How much more capable is He of being worthy of my trust?  I need to give Him everything.

Second, am I growing?  I was also reading this morning in Mark 4, the account of Jesus calming the sea is in there (which sparked my interest because of the first question), but the majority of the parables in this chapter are about seeds - planting, growing, harvesting.  This would normally have been just a passage where I was casually reminded of the faithfulness of God, to cultivate and grow the seeds He plants, to see the harvest come in, to bring more people into His kingdom.  Normally.

All I have to say is, "GAH!  Mark, why'd you have to go and write that?!"  More like shout, really.  I'm telling you, it seems like every day something reminds me of growth.  And not just the normal growing and learning that is part of my daily walk with the Lord.  I'm talking about growing where I'm planted, being where the Lord has placed me and investing my life here where He has me.  Using my gifts to further His kingdom, giving my time to serve Him and His purposes.

I don't know why I get so frustrated at that, though.  I mean of the many things I have learned about the Lord over the years, one of them is that He's persistant.  He pursues me.  He comes running to me, pulling me in closer and closer to Him.  So when there is something that He wants to tell me, it only makes sense that He would use every opportunity to remind me of it.

I suppose the better question for me to ask then is, "Why hasn't the message gotten through to me yet?"

Testify

"To this day I have had the help that comes from God, and so I stand here testifying both to small and great, saying nothing but what the prophets and Moses said would come to pass:" ~Acts 26:22

I find it extremely interesting that Paul is given free reign to make his defense in front of Agrippa, Bernice, Festus, and a whole slew of other people and while he makes a very good case of defending himself, he still manages to weave the gospel in and out of his argument.  I don't know if that is something that I would be able to do so fluidly if I were on trial with my life on the line.

Even more intriguing, though, is verse 22.  I don't remember reading this verse ever before, but it strikes a chord in me.  "Testifying both to small and great..."  Wow, he really just said that.  I know that I am completely capable of praising God for the big things, of shouting about the big things from the rooftop, because those things are so big and it is so glaringly obvious why they are such blessings.  But when is the last time I got really excited about the little details that God puts in our lives.  When is the last time I testified about the small stuff?  Interestingly enough, the small stuff is what shows the world how incredible the God we serve is.  The fact that He cares about the small stuff, He takes care of the lilies of the field, His eye is on the sparrow.

It's not the difference between my God and all the other gods that people worship.  It's the difference between the God who IS and the God who is MINE.

Can I get a witness up in here?!

Confession

My mom was raised Catholic and one of the traditions of the Catholic church is to go to confession.  The priest gives you some task to do to make up for the sins that you confessed and you move on - never to do those sins again!

I grew up in several churches, but in one specifically where confession was encouraged as a part of daily walking with the Lord.  This wasn't because it was intended to make us better or less sinful.  Rather, I understood it to be more of a 'getting things off your chest' kind of thing.  Call me crazy, but confessing to things I have done makes me feel better!

I have gotten out of the habit of that because recent churches I have attended have not so much down-played the idea of confession, but just haven't pushed it.  They focus a lot more on getting people to have a relationship at all with God.  And to be honest, listing out the sins you've committed - even to God - is a hard thing to do because it makes them real.  But, then I read in Acts this morning:

"So I always take pains to have a clear conscience toward both God and man." ~ Acts 24:16

Wow, Paul, why did you have to go and do that?  I was doing just fine, pretending like my sin wasn't that bad because I haven't murdered anyone, and then you go and say something like that.

I know he wasn't perfect, but Paul is definitely one of the Christians that I look up to.  And if he is saying that he tries to confess his sin and keep right relationship with God and man, then I think I want to follow suit.  Tough times ahead...

Sanctified

I believe that the Bible is very clear about God's nature - specifically what His priorities are.  One of God's top priorities, if not His #1 priority, is to bring glory to Himself.  If someone says that about me, that's a terrible thing.  But with God, it's a terrible thing if we can't say that about Him.

Anyway, since that is such a huge priority on God's list, probably one of our highest priorities should in turn be to bring glory to God.  It's what we were made for, the Baptist catechism would say it is "the chief end of man."  I have really thought about that for a long time because it is really hard for me to get my head around the idea of glorifying someone more than me - I go to S.A. (Sinner's Anonymous - meeting on Sunday mornings at a church near you!) to deal with it.

As if that weren't a hard enough thing for me, I stumbled across a verse in Leviticus 10 that really has been eating at me and making me come back to my priorities and look hard at what I do with my attentions and affections.

"Then Moses said to Aaron, 'This is what the Lord has said, "Among those who are near me I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified."'  And Aaron held his place."

What?  You mean regular people who aren't Christians are glorifying God?  Yes.  All of His creation shouts His glory just by existing and being His creation.  So, that is something that I still  need to seek with my life.

But what really made me stop and think was "Among those who are near me I will be sanctified."  That brings all kinds of thoughts to my mind, but the biggest one of all is that because I am a Christian, because I know the incredible qualities of God, because I am near to Him, I need to be sanctifying God with my life.

Now, I wasn't sure what sanctify meant.  I had a general idea, but I looked it up to be sure.

"to set apart, to make holy"

I'm not saying that I can make God more holy by doing something, but where is my focus?  Am I seeking to set Him apart in my life, to lift Him up to the place He deserves?  Or do I put myself on a pedestal and set myself apart as special?  Am I seeing God as holy, worthy of praise, deserving of glory?  Or do I treat Him like a parent or grandparent who is supposed to praise me when I do something good?

I have this whole new mindset now.

You Lead, I'll Follow

I love knowledge.  Plain and simple, knowing things and learning things is fun to me, and so I love knowledge.  Maybe I'm a transplant from the Enlightenment era...Anyway, I have been thinking a lot lately about what to do with my future.  I've earned my undergraduate degree in mathematics, but I want to get a Master's and possibly even a Doctorate.  The problem is, I have no idea what those should be in.  Long story short, I was playing the proverbial violin and singing my sad sad song to Beth, and she piped right up to say something that, to be honest, I really didn't want to hear (it works that way too often!).  She said, "Don't you say all the time that we need to grow where we're planted?"

Grr...I hate when she's right!  Especially quoting me!!

All that to say, truth is hard to hear sometimes, and Beth is really good at smashing my violin, slapping me in the face with it, and making me wake up from my self-pitying world - which I would say is a good thing all the time.

Then, as if that weren't enough, God does the same thing this morning (when do I get pity, again?).

In Exodus 40:34-38, Moses is describing the method of travel for the Israelites as they are moving closer to the Promised Land.  I always knew they had the cloud of smoke by day and the pillar of fire by night, but I never saw this,

"Throughout all their journeys, whenever the clooud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the people of Israel would set out.  But if the cloud was not taken up , then they did not set out till the day that it was taken up."

Not only are they following wherever God leads them to go, but they are waiting when He stops.  And in the mean time, while they are waiting they are worshipping.  From what I understand, this is the point when Israel begins corporate worship; so they move forward when God says more forward, and they wait and worship when He says wait.  I'm pretty sure that God is telling me I should be patiently waiting on Him to move forward with this Masters, even with what it will be when I get it.  I think He's even telling me that I should be patiently waiting on Him anyway, worshipping and growing where I am, instead of trying to run ahead of Him.

Lesson learned, God!  I get it!!

Serves me right for getting that violin out...

Trust

I was reading an acquaintances blog in which they talked about all the things they are doing to save money and worries about a second job to make ends meet, and I realized how fortunate we are to be in the position we are in, especially with the economy the way it is.  We budget and plan how much we will spend each week, trying to stay within a certain amount, but we don't really have to pinch pennies.  We save quite a bit each month and life comfortably within our means - and I don't really ever take the time to appreciate that gift.  God has really blessed us and all I can manage to do is find ways to be unhappy and ungrateful about it.  What a sad thing for me to realize about myself!

...

As I was sitting here typing and thinking out loud a little bit, I realized that I was about to make an entire post of complaints.  Things in my life that I wish were different, things I wish were better, things that I don't like about myself or others...negative, negative, negative.  It reminds me of a re-write of an old hymn that I learned once,

"Gripe and complain, gripe and complain, why be happy in Jesus? when you can gripe and complain!!"

I know, it's stupid.  But it reminds me of an important truth.  I am called to live my life in a way that glorifies my Father, and the only thing that I do by complaining all the time - even if no one hears it (you know, the tree in the woods...) - is show the people around me that I think my God isn't big enough, isn't capable enough of meeting my needs.

The truth is though, He is SO big!  He is SO capable!!  Why is it so hard for me to truly trust Him with the life that He gave me in the first place?  I'm not even guaranteed the next breath I breathe, so why am I wasting them on complaints?

No Inhibitions

I was reading this morning in Psalm 12 and the Psalmist is asking the Lord for comfort and encouragement because he feels like he is the only faithful one left out there doing the work of the Lord (similar to Elijah or Ezekiel, I think?).

Anyway, contrast that with Acts 4 (which I was also reading) and it is the story of Peter and John before the Sanhedrin for healing and speaking in the name of Jesus.  The thing that struck me the most about this chapter in Acts was that when told to stop preaching in the name of Jesus, Peter answers,

"Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God, for we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."

Why is it easy to get me to shut my mouth about things I have seen and heard in my walk with the Lord?  Why am I not more bold about my faith?  I have faith.  I learn new things about the Lord and I try to apply them to my life.  Some days are better than most, but I'm praying for the courage to be bold because there is no excuse for me in my safe little world to not be bold about the faith I have, about the lessons I'm learning, about the magnificent God that I serve!

Long Time, No Blog

Incredible how long I can go with out updating this thing.  I have so much that I would write if I could only find the discipline to do so.  To some degree I would much rather sit down and spend quality time with the people who read this, or go share real life with people who are new and old...I agree with Beth on this one - it's great to update these things for the people who are far away and can't spend that much time with me and for the people who just want to know what's going on since yesterday - but at the same time I need to make a better effort to spend face-to-face time with the people I care about and invest in their lives in the here and now.

Anyway, I really just got on here because I was reading in Exodus about the crossing of the Red Sea and I saw a verse I hadn't seen before.

"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today.  For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.  The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." ~ Exodus 14:13-14

How many times has my mouth gotten in the way of the Lord fighting for me?