Shock and Awe

I cannot tell you how freaked out I was when my alarm went off.

Besides the fact that I was having a weird dream, I quickly realized that I had not been woken in the middle of the night! Yay for Isabella sleeping!!

I went into her room just to check on her, and she was so still I thought she had died, so I put my hand on her head - she twitched a little and slept away. This is not the first time I have gotten up with my alarm without being woken in the middle of the night, but it is the first time I got up and she was still asleep. The other two times she woke up right around the same time as my alarm.

So, that said, I'm completely excited about her 7 week birthday today and the fact that she basically slept through the night!

Finally!

I can't tell you what a relief it was to finally go back to church on Sunday.  Beth's mom came in town to visit - it had been 2 weeks, I think she was in withdrawal - and Sunday morning she watched Isabella so we could go worship.  Wow~!  If you ever want to appreciate your local church, miss for 5 weeks and then come back!!  We both loved it.

Pastor Rob was speaking on being relationally healthy, and he really makes you think about the priorities in your life.  I mean if mine were where they are supposed to be, what would my life look like right now?  My Bible wouldn't sit in the same spot - EVER.  My walk would never be lukewarm.  Some of my friendships would be closer, some further apart.  That's the problem with going to a church where the pastor challenges your growth - conviction.  I hope I never go to a church where I'm not convicted about something in my life when I leave to go home.

Rob quoted someone, no idea who, but he really got me with this - "We only love Jesus as much as we love the person we love the least."  AH!  What am I doing with my love?  Am I showing Jesus that I love people with the same reckless abandon that He loves them with?  How much do I really love Jesus then?

Resolved:  I will love Jesus with my whole life - not just when others are looking.

Resolved:  I will love people with my whole life - not just when it's convenient.

Resolved:  I will live for Jesus with my whole life - not just my Sunday mornings.

Resolved:  I will serve all people with my whole life - not just when it looks good or it's the people I like being around.

"Come and listen, come to the water's edge, all you who know and fear the Lord.  Come and listen, come to the water's edge all you who are thirsty, come." ~DCB

How To Have A Stress-Free Sunday

We just moved for the second time in the year we have been married, yesterday.  While the move was incredibly swift, thanks in large part to an enormous effort by our parents and relatives, it was a little bit stressful because I always worry that Beth will do too much while she is still pregnant.  On top of that, it would not have been very good timing for her to go into labor during the middle of our move.  Thank the Lord she didn't!

I have to say, though, the move was a blessing.  We have the opportunity to continue ministering to the Freshman girls here at MC, we moved to a larger apartment with room for our little girl (still awaiting arrival!), and little details just kept falling into place that we had not planned at all.  I'm quoting my wife here, but God really taught us that His timing is best this weekend.  We saw so many things happen that would not have happened without Him.  For example, we bought carpet remnants for the tile floors of our new apartment, knowing in advance that it wouldn't be a perfect fit, but planning to just make the best of it anyway.  The carpet ended up fitting as perfectly as if professionals had installed it.

We had a few complaints about the new place, (the A/C is not on, the hot water is not on, and the washer and dryer are not hooked up yet) but overall it is just a precious reminder of the grace of God and how He takes care of His children.  I love that the Lord loves details!

Today, we went to church and enjoyed wonderful worship and listened to awesome truth from God's word.  For me though, and I think all the rest of my family would agree, it was quite a tough thing to do.  At one point I couldn't stop the tears because we knew there would be an announcement about our Worship Pastor following a call to Dallas.  I know that God is sovereign and I know that He is more in control than I ever can be, but it is still hard for a man that we have grown to love to leave us.

Would I have enjoyed this Sunday more without that news?  With A/C, hot water, clean clothes?  Yes, I would.  But would I have learned as much about how God handles the details?  Would I have appreciated who He is and what He's about?  Not as much.  I know now that I would gladly take a Sunday full of stresses for that crucial lesson.

LGLP (Matthew 22:37-39)

Why is the mentality of today's society something along the lines of, "You have to help me because ... you're rich and I'm poor, you're smart and I'm dumb, you're healthy and I'm sick, you're a teacher and I'm a student ... " ???

Does the thought ever run through your head, "Why don't you help yourself?"

I am coming to a realization - an epiphany of sorts.  I don't have to help someone who refuses to help themselves!

I know, I know, you think I have forgotten about Jesus' command to us as believers that we should follow the example of the Samaritan and broaden our view of not only what it means to help someone, but what our definition of 'neighbor' is.  I get that.  I help the helpless.  One of my favorite past-times my senior year of college was going to downtown Jackson and giving out food and toiletries to homeless guys.  My problem is not with helping people who truly have a need, who desperately need someone to come show them the love of Christ and give them a sandwich on the side...

My problem is with the bum on the street corner who yells at me because I don't have any money to give him.  If a kid with Down Syndrome can get a job at McAlister's, I think a guy in a wheelchair has a sporting chance of holding down a job somewhere.

My problem is with the student in my classroom who sleeps or talks or doesn't pay attention in general EVERY DAY, and then expects me to jump to help them prepare for a test.  How is it fair to give up the time I could spend with a legitimate student who has questions for the kid who didn't even bother to listen to me the first time?

I know I'm not perfect.  I know I must love my neighbor - and I want to.  I know I am called to serve others in any way I can.  I do that, very imperfectly, but I do that.  When will people wake up and see that there are more people in the world than themselves?  When will students desire to be educated, instead of expect answers to be given to them?

Proverbs 4:1 - "Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding."

P.S. - We're having a little girl, and her name is going to be Abigail Isabella.  I'm so excited!

Spring Break

I wish I had more time to read.  It's one of my favorite things to do, and I just get so caught up in everything around me that it falls to the back-burner.  Maybe a priority adjustment is in order.

That said, this week was Spring Break for me and Beth.  I don't think next year we'll be so lucky, but this time it was the same for us both.  Here's the break-down:

Saturday, March 15 - Relaxed the first part of the day, then attended a beautiful wedding ceremony for Ashley Thomas and Tim Krason, then drove to Birmingham.

Sunday - Church with Beth's family, lunch for her birthday, relax the rest of the day.  Her mom bought Cheesecake Factory cheesecake for dessert, and it was divine.  =]

Monday - I graded papers while Beth went shopping with her mom for her birthday.

Tuesday - We left Birmingham to go to Atlanta.  We had time for shopping at IKEA, visiting with cousins, and dinner with old friends at Figo (a pasta place I highly recommend) before heading to a cabin in North Georgia for a few restful days alone.

Wednesday - It rained.  Good thing we were in the cabin!  I must say, while we were lazy bums, this was perhaps my favorite day of the week.  We woke up around 11:30 or so, made breakfast, and then promptly fell back asleep to the sound of rain on our tin roof until some time around 3.  I don't get days like that very often, but it sure is awesome to rest...really rest. We went shopping that evening at an outlet mall nearby.

Thursday - We made breakfast, and then both of us worked the majority of the day on school stuff.  Can't leave the jobs behind forever...oh well, we got a lot done in the solitude of the cabin.

Friday - Left for Atlanta, saw more old friends, found a great study on Nehemiah that we're going to start doing together, and then headed back to Birmingham.  I hate Atlanta traffic.

Today we got up, got ready, loaded the car, killed the battery in the car, transferred stuff to another car, picked up a friend, and drove home - it was long...really long...but oh, so worth it.  I am so excited to be back in my home.

Is it bad that I don't really want to go back to school?

Train Up A Child

Beth continues to tell me that she feels little 'flutters' inside - that's the baby telling us hello.

Speaking of the baby, we're going to the doctor in a few hours to find out if we're having a boy or a girl.  How exciting!  All the girls in the dorm are excited and waiting for us to get back and tell them the news, and the students/teachers at my school are anxious to find out, too.

An update on my students.  They still surprise me every day.  It is such an astonishing thing to me that they will goof off and not pay a lick of attention all year, and now that it is exam time these are the questions I hear:

"Mr. Kirchner, will you show me my average?  I need to know what I have to score on the exam."

"What extra credit can I do, Mr. K?  I have to bring my grade up."

"Will you help me with this problem?"

As if scoring well on the exam is going to help some of them...

What ever happened to just "credit"?  I mean, if they had done their homework, studied, asked questions all along, they wouldn't have to worry about extra credit to bring their grade up.  Last Friday I had gotten to the end of my rope with them asking me for extra credit or telling me that I don't give enough or saying that they need it and I have to give it to them, so I made them all write me an essay discussing this question:  "Why do you think you deserve extra credit?"

Awful is about the only word I can come up with to describe the essays I received.  I am surprised that any of them passed the State English Test.  What makes it worse?  Almost every last one of them wrote all kinds of reasons for why they deserve extra credit, and every single reason was something they are expected to do for just plain credit.  You don't get extra credit for taking notes in class, or paying attention, or doing your homework, or "because I'm doing better than last semester."

It is frustrating, to say the least.  What worries me the most is that these are our future politicians, voters, doctors, nurses, mechanics, waiters, teachers...I get down just thinking about it.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  Proverbs 22:6

Lord, may I do just that - in my classroom and in my home - and maybe this generation will not just grow up, but grow up and make a difference for You.

Psalm 139: 13-14

Beth thinks she felt the baby move around last night!

How awesome is it that we are created in such a way as to make an effect on the world before
anyone has even seen our face?

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

It is incredible to think about trying to give my Lord the praise He deserves, but it is even more incredible and humbling to think that there is another life coming to this world.  A life that is being knitted together just for the express purpose of glorifying God.  A life that is meant to praise Him.

I can't know the reality that Beth feels right now having our child inside her womb but oh, how I know the reality of my Father in heaven who teaches me more about who He is every day.  My Lord who shows me how to walk in his truth.  My God who uses our little baby to reveal Himself to me in such a profound way.  Thank you Lord!

Your Calling

Do you ever wonder if what you are doing with your life is what God has called you to do?

Beth and I had a long conversation the other night about how frustrated I get with the students where I teach.  I feel like I can't get through to them and get them to be more motivated.  I tell them all the time that I don't just want them to pass my class, but to do their best and to remember that the choices they make now will decide what their future is going to look like.

You know what most of my students do when I make that speech?  Stare at me blankly.  Look the other way.  Ignore me entirely.

You won't know this unless you're married, but when you marry the right person you will know it and be reassured of it all the time.  I know this because Beth reminded me that it's not my only job to teach Geometry.  She reminded me that I can't know who really is listening or who's life is impacted by what I do and say in the classroom.

She said, "You know, Jacob, all you can do is live your life in a way that glorifies God."  She's right.  They may not learn a lick of geometry this year.  They may get more detentions than they have ever gotten.  They may hate me for holding them to a standard that they have never been held to before.  At the end of the day, though, they will all have seen me walking a walk that matches my talk - and that is worth it for me.

An interesting thing happened the next Monday morning at school.

As I walked down the hallway at 7:02 a.m., I heard "Mr. Kirchner" from behind me.  One of my students was standing there and said, "Do you mind if I come stay in your room until everyone gets here?"

"Of course," I said.  So he proceeded to follow me down to my room and sit there with me until about 7:30.  Without any prompting from me at all, he started telling me about how he had been kicked out of his house that weekend, and how frustrated he was with his mom,and about things
that had happened to him growing up, and how he doesn't want any of that to hold him back because he wants to graduate and go to college and make something of himself.  He told me things that he has never told anyone before.  Things that are hard to hear about, but even harder to live through.

He came Tuesday morning as well.

As I came up the stairs Wednesday morning, I half-expected to see him standing there, waiting on me.  I didn't.  He was absent from school that day.

Thursday came and while he didn't come early to my room, he was in class and even came to my classroom during his study hall - the last period of the day.  He said, "I wanted to come see you because it's my last day here.  I'm going to another school."

I may never see him again.  I may never know what happens in his life from now on.  But I know this - God used me.  He put me in that kid's life for a reason, even if it was just to listen, and I won't ever doubt again that I am doing what I am called to do.

If none of my students learn geometry this year, it's okay with me, because as far as I'm concerned I've done my job.