I AM

I don't know about you, but lately the stresses of life have really been weighing on me. So much so, that even my quiet time has suffered. Honestly, for the last couple of weeks my mornings have been dry, weary, and...well, work. I have felt like I was trudging along trying to stay consistent but not seeing any results. To be completely honest, at times I've felt discouraged in my walk with God, almost to the point of giving up...almost.


Ever been there?


But I choose to stay faithful, even if I do feel a bit discouraged, because God calls me to be faithful regardless of how I feel, or how busy I am or anything else.


All that said, I was reading in Matthew 14 and I am so thankful for my faithfulness because God showed me something that I had never seen before. He made clearer a passage that I thought I had understood reasonably well. It's the passage where Jesus walks on water. To give a little bit of context, right before this event Jesus feeds the 5000 and then goes up on the mountain for some alone time and prayer. Then He decides to come down and walks on the water to the disciples who have gone on ahead in the boat. They're terrified, because a storm has begun and they're thinking they see a ghost, but Jesus says something curious to them in verse 27:

"But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.'"

The Holy Spirit just grabbed my attention there. "It is I" is a weird phrasing and all the other versions say the same thing, so I did some digging to find out exactly what Jesus was saying.


What I found was like discovering high definition television for the first time after a lifetime of silent black and white films.


Here's another translation:

"Have courage; I AM. Don't be afraid."

The surface-level meaning ("It's me.") is literally Jesus identifying Himself. Beneath that however, the implication of Jesus' words is clear. The disciples understood it. Peter certainly understood it.


I AM.


Jesus didn't casually say to His disciples, "Hey guys, remember me? It's Jesus. We've been hanging out for a while now. There's no need to be afraid!" That really wouldn't have calmed anyone down. Though he was identifying himself, Jesus was also (not so subtly) saying, "I AM Yahweh, God over creation and God over you. In me all things find their being, even the wind and the waves. You have no reason whatsoever to fear."


Seen in this light, it easily explains why the disciples were so quickly calmed of their fears. Or why Peter so quickly believed he could walk on water if Jesus asked him to do so. Or why they respond at the end of this whole story by worshiping Jesus, saying "truly you are the Son of God." They knew that He was in control and they were reminded that they could trust Him.



Jesus says the same thing to us that He said to the disciples and it's so comforting.



In life...and in death - I AM.
In joy...and in sorrow - I AM.
In success...and in failure - I AM.


But it's also incredibly convicting.


When the storms of life are bearing down on you, who do you put your trust in?
When the past is haunting you or the future seems uncertain, who do you put your faith in?


Do you trust other people? They will eventually disappoint you.
Do you have faith in yourself and your own strength? You will eventually fail.


But God never fails or disappoints.
He shows up, time and again, stepping over all of our junk, and whispers ever so gently in our ears,


I AM.
It is finished.
Trust in me.


And so I rest in that truth. I know that in the good and in the bad (from my perspective) is still what's best for me from God's perspective. Does it mean that I understand it all? No. Does it mean things don't hurt? No. It simply means that I'm part of something greater than myself. It means that I follow a God who is bigger than my circumstances and sees farther than my perspective. He is worthy of my trust and my faith and my worship.

Colors

Have you ever been somewhere when someone said something absolutely awkward and unexpected?




I know I have.  And a couple of times that person was me, so I know all too well what that is like.  I don't know what's more painful - having to suffer through the awkwardness of the moment or realizing you're the person who caused it all in the first place.


This very thing happened to me the other day, though (thankfully) it was while I was driving with Isabella.  In fact, we were the only people who present.


I was scanning through radio stations and stopped on a station playing "Someone Like You" by Adele.  I commented to Isabella that it was a really good song (her voice is incredible!) and we continued driving, listening all the while. About halfway through the first chorus Isabella asked a question that (insert awkward moment here) blew me away,

"Is she black?"

Umm...what??  Where did she learn that?  I can promise it's not from me and Beth - we love people of all races and proudly have friends from all over the spectrum of race, nationality, and culture.  Regardless, this is what I (and countless others, I'm sure) refer to as a "teachable moment."


So, we talked.  For a long time.  About how there are all varieties of people, from all over the world.  They have different skin color, language, culture, personal experiences.  All things that make them unique and beautiful and wonderful.


But they all have one thing in common.


God loves them.
He made them in His image.
He sent His beloved Son to die for them.
He wants them to worship Him with all of their lives.
And He commissioned us to tell them.


I don't know about you, but talking with my daughter about the gospel was even better than the song playing in the background.  I hope we have many more like it.




Starting a new thing on this post - question of the day. Leave your comments in the space below!


QOTD: What interesting or deep questions have your children asked you?  How did you respond? If you don't have kids, what questions did you ask your parents?  How did they respond?