Altogether

Wow.  This feels almost unfamiliar.  It's been too long since I wrote anything down.  Maybe it's like riding a bike - I just need to get going.

We came to my parents' house for the night, and this morning while sipping my coffee I got the chance to read some of my dad's journals from a time in his life when things were not easy (to say the least) - but he was still faithful to seek the Lord and God was still faithful in His promises to my dad.  It's an awesome picture of struggling with life, asking tough questions of God, and seeing Him answer those questions - even if the answers were not exactly what was hoped for.  It's encouraging to know that the man I most look up to as I journey through life (spiritually and otherwise) has had struggles and seen God prove Himself faithful time and again.

This morning I also spent some time reading in the Psalms, 139 to be exact.  Verse 4 stood out to me, and as I thought about it conviction started to set in...

"Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether."

I've read this verse before, and having read James as well, it is not a new lesson for me to think about taming my tongue and thinking before I speak.  But 'altogether' still sticks out to me.  I realized as I read that God knows what I'll say before I speak it, that's true.  What convicts me today is that God also knows the intentions behind my words before I say them.  I can lie to myself and mislead other people all day long, but at the end of the day God knows why I chose to say (or not say) what I did.

He knows that I didn't speak truth when I had perfect opportunity - because I was scared.

He knows that I said something judgementally - even though I claim "I'm just concerned."

It's a hard thing to face your intentions, the hidden meanings behind what you do and say.  It's even harder to admit it online where anyone can judge me.  That's okay, though.  I'm glad the Psalm doesn't end there.  David continues,

"Where shall I go from your Spirit?  Or where shall I flee from your presence? ... Search me, O God, and know my thoughts!  And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (vs. 7, 23-24)

I'm praying that same prayer - God search me out.  Know me altogether.  Continue to convict and encourage me through Your Word.  Continue to inspire me through the stories of other believers who are further down the road than myself.

A Remnant

On occasions when I'm by myself and thinking about life, there have been some times where I've felt lonely.  It's the kind of lonely that Elijah felt in 1 Kings:

"I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts.  For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away." (1 Kings 19:14)

Don't get me wrong - I'm not claiming to be a prophet or to have everything together.  That's not it at all.  I'm far from perfect and God has a lot of molding left to do in me.  I'm just saying that sometimes I really resonate with Elijah in this passage.  He's had to be the bearer of bad news (a drought for an unspecified amount of time), challenged and killed a whole slew of Baal prophets, and now Jezebel wants his head on a platter.  He feels like he's the only one left who believes in God.

Do you ever feel that way?  Maybe at work you're the only Christian...or at school you're the only one of your friends who stands up for the kid who's being bullied...or you have Christian friends who aren't living out their faith while you struggle to be genuine.  It can be quite discouraging...


Look at how God replied to Elijah, though - "Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him." (vs.18)  Encouraging?  Yes!  God saw what Elijah could not - a remnant of people who were faithful to Him.  I've been reading in Revelation the last few days (in the L3 Journal) and I noticed a similar pattern.


In Revelation 2 and 3, there are 7 letters to 7 churches and almost all of them have a fault of some sort.  But in each of the 7 churches, Jesus sees and points out a faithful few.  They are the people of the church who are "faithful unto death" and who still "hold fast my name", who continue in "faithful endurance" and suffer "tribulation and poverty" for His name.  It's a beautiful picture of a world that is broken, even churches that are broken and people who have remained faithful.  They are the remnant.


And so I'm challenged today because, well...you and I?  We are those people.  We are the few.  We are the remnant.  Be encouraged today to live out your faith.  Keep pressing on in the effort to live for Christ, even when it seems that no one around you is with you in that effort, because God has set us apart for His purposes.

Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed - "to overcome completely in mind or feeling"
Burdened - "that which is borne with difficulty"


I feel overwhelmed and burdened lately.  It has been steadily growing in my heart.  It literally has been weighing on me, so much so that my countenance has been affected.


There's a problem with this world that I've recently had my eyes opened to.  I had heard of it but it had not really been on my list of priorities.  I had not been that concerned about it but it is urgent nonetheless.


Poverty.
Hunger.
Disease.
Death.


These things are running rampant across our planet.  In countries all over the world, millions and millions of people are dying because they are malnourished or because of preventable disease.  Millions of people don't have access to clean drinking water or a steady food supply.  Orphans are heading households full of other orphans because all of their parents have died with HIV/AIDS.


I won't get into the actual data, but just believe me - the situation in places around the world is so terrible that it's unbelievable, unfathomable, inexpressible.  Google it.  It will blow your mind at how staggering the problem is.


This burden I feel that the Lord has laid on my heart has two parts:


First, how many of these people could we feed?  Or clothe?  Or provide medicine for?  It seems like we're so caught up in the materialism of this world that we have forgotten the "least of these."  It seems like we're so wrapped up in being entertained by sports or music or movies or books that we've turned a blind eye to the real issues that are worth caring about.

"And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'" Matthew 25:40

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this:  to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."  James 1:27

Are we (the Church) taking care of widows and orphans?  Are we providing for the "least of these"?  Are we "unstained from the world"?


Second (but most certainly foremost), how many of these people who are dying every day know the saving power of Jesus Christ?  How many of them have even heard the Gospel because we loved them enough to take it to them?

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?'  Then I said, 'Here am I!  Send me.'"  Isaiah 6:8

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.  And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."  Matthew 28:19-20

We are all called to take the Gospel to the nations.  We must.  The situation is too desperate to not go.  The command of our Lord Jesus Christ is just that - a command.  There is no option.  In the words of David Platt, "We are the plan of God, and there is no plan B."


How many people will die without Christ while we (myself included) continue to live in disobedience to His command?

Questions

Have you read or heard the account of Jesus feeding the 4000?  Not the 5000, the 4000.  It's not one that I've read in a while, but that was part of my reading this morning.  Here's the beginning part:

"Then Jesus called His disciples to Him and said, 'I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat.  And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.'  And the disciples said to him, 'Where are we going to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd?'"  Matthew 15:32-33

The question that the disciples ask is sticking with me today.  Like an itch I can't scratch.  In a good way.


I wrote in my Bible as I was reading - "had they not seen the 5000 fed?" - and I literally wonder about that very thing.  Just a few chapters ago, Matthew wrote down the account of Jesus feeding the 5000.  Which is interesting because if the disciples questioned Jesus then, and they did, then their questions were more than answered.  5000 people (women and children not included) were fed.  12 baskets full of food was left over!  Jesus provides for His people.  Case closed.  But then 4000 people (women and children not included) come along and what's the first thing the disciples say to Jesus?


"Jesus, we know you can meet this need!  We've seen it!"
"Pssh!  4000 people!  That's nothing!  My Jesus fed 5000 people last week - this is child's play!"
"Jesus, we collected food from everyone.  It's only 7 loaves and some fish, but we know you can multiply it.  Will you bless the food so we can feed these people?"


They didn't say any of these things.  They questioned.  They showed their lack of faith - yet again - that Jesus would accomplish the impossible.  "Where are we going to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd?"  I can almost hear the whining.  Jesus has proved Himself time and time again to be a faithful, trustworthy provider.  And the disciples still hadn't learned the lesson.  They still questioned Him.


Here's the thing, though.  The reason this question bothers me so much, I think, is because it reminds me of...well...me.  I see it in myself all the time.  I see (and hear) myself questioning God and not putting the whole of my trust in Him.  I whine about my circumstances and forget that all along the way God has provided me with more blessing than I could ever deserve.  He's proved Himself a faithful, trustworthy provider time and again and yet I still question Him.  I still show my lack of faith.


I think about that account and I know how I would have responded to the disciples' question.  "Um.  I'm Jesus.  I just fed 5000 people with three loaves and two fish.  Oh, and after that I healed some people and did other miracles.  I think I can handle 4000."  But He didn't respond that way, did He?  He took the bread and fish, prayed thanks to God for them, and fed the 4000.  And again, Jesus proves His provision.  He proves His faithfulness, in spite of the faithlessness of the disciples.


It's the same in my life.  And yours.  He continues to prove His faithful, trustworthy provision time and time again - in spite of how faithless we can be.  Isn't it about time we trusted Him?

Redefining Normal

I started running this past summer.  Since I had never really run before, my distances were short and my breaks were many.  Now, I typically run 5 miles or more without stopping at all.  But, when I think back to it, it's almost funny.  I used to think that 3 miles was a long way. Now, 3 miles is just a normal run.  I used to think about running for more than an hour and it literally made me question my sanity.


Last Saturday, I went running with my pastor, Michael Manuel (who is incredibly encouraging, by the way - I wish I had been more encouraging to him during the run!), and we went a total of 8 miles.  Literally, after the 6 mile mark every step was further than I had ever been before.  It was exciting!  Anyway, while we were running, I commented that I used to think 3 miles was a long way and Michael said that all the time he has to redefine "normal."  Interestingly enough, it's been the same sort of thought process for me as well.


You see, here's the thing.  Normal a relative term, isn't it?  Normal just depends on the perspective of the viewer.  What is normal for me may be entirely crazy for you.  Does that make sense?


So, we continued running.  We finished.  But, my brain was still going 90-to-nothing.


Question:  What does a normal Christian look like?
Another question:  What should a normal Christian look like?


The Bible is very clear on the topic, actually.


"Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.'" Matthew 16:24


"And Jesus said to him, 'Leave the dead to bury their own dead.  But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.'"  Luke 9:60


"And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, 'You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.'"  Mark 10:21


The things (and there are many more examples than what I've given) that Jesus called us to do as believers are things that look very crazy to the world.  They are things that make people stop and question our intentions.  They are things that may even make us stop and question our own sanity.  But, it's there.  In the Word.  Plain as day.


The point I'm (in a very roundabout way) getting to is this:  When I go out and run 8 miles some people will not understand what I'm doing or why, and will even look at me like I'm crazy, but it's a normal thing to me now.  What they think doesn't matter because it's not crazy to me.  What if we believed Jesus and acted on His calling in our lives to live in a way that some people won't understand, that they might say is crazy?


If we live that life long enough, if we pursue that end hard enough, we'll see it as a normal way of living.  We won't care any longer what people think or say because our definition of normal will have changed.  It's like Michael said - we've got to constantly be in the process of redefining the "normal" of our lives to be centered around what Jesus said our lives should look like.  Of course, that means you have to be willing to look pretty crazy to a lot of people.


So.  What's your definition of normal?

Needs

Growing up, one of the lessons my parents tried to impress upon us was the difference between needs and wants. For example, "Mom, I NEED that new shirt" or "I NEED to get that book, Dad!"  Their response?  "You don't NEED it.  You just WANT it..."

So, I was reading in my Bible yesterday morning (working my way through Matthew) and I came across this verse:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Mt. 6:33

I've heard some people use that verse out of context and say that this means if we seek after God that He'll bless our lives and give us a bunch of stuff - the "prosperity gospel," if you will.  But that's not what Jesus was intending at all!

Did you notice the words "all these things" in that verse?  What was Jesus referring to?  Was He talking about all the things this world has to offer?  Look back up at the previous verses.  Jesus has just spent the last 8 verses talking about how birds don't worry about their next meal and lilies don't worry about their clothing, but God still feeds and clothes them.  Jesus says, "Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Christ is promising that if we seek after His kingdom and His righteousness, God will meet our needs - not our wants.  That means when we eat, we should be thankful that God provided our food. Or when we have clothing to wear, we should be thankful that we aren't walking around naked.

BUT, that also means that when we don't have the most stylish outfit in the room, the money to eat at the finest restaurants, the nicest car, the fanciest shoes, the biggest house, the latest technological advances - we should STILL BE THANKFUL to God for providing food for us to eat and clothes for us to wear.  God has provided more than enough to cover our needs. Everything else is just extra.  It's completely unmerited blessing and favor from God.

What right do we have to complain that we don't have the newest or nicest stuff...or, for that matter, about anything at all?


Keep this in mind the next time you think you think that you need something:  80% of the world's population lives on less than 10 dollars a day (that's almost 5 billion people, by the way).  Almost 1 billion people are suffering from malnutrition right now and 100 million of them will die this year because of it.  There are over 145 million orphans in the world and every 90 seconds one of them dies because of malnutrition.


I guess the question has nothing to do with our needs at all.  It has to do with the amount of suffering and injustice and starvation and poverty there is in the world.  It has to do with the fact that thousands of people die every day doomed to spend an eternity in hell because they haven't even heard the name of Jesus.


The question is what are we going to do about it?


Is that need more urgent than our needs?

Checking Out

Have you ever been so focused and excited about what God has planned for you in the future that you lost sight of what God had for you in the present?  It's like we mentally check out of our present and cease to be aware of how God is working around us because our minds have honed in on and focused solely on the future.


This subject keeps coming up in my conversations - partly because I see other people doing it, but mostly because I feel convicted about it myself.  Then, of course, Scripture has something to say about it.  And, yet again, it comes up in my daily time in the Word (proof that I need to be consistently reading the Bible).  This morning was a reading of Matthew 4, the predominant story of which is Jesus being tempted in the wilderness.  The devil tempts Jesus to turn stones into bread, to call on the angels to catch Him from falling, and even to bow down and worship him.


It's interesting to me to read this story in the mindset that I've been in lately because my response is not typical, for myself at least.  My first thought upon reading this passage today was, "What if Jesus had checked out?"


Think about it.  What if He had?  Would Jesus, being starving and tired from a 40 day trek through the wilderness, have responded the way that He did to the first temptation of meeting his own physical needs?  I know I wouldn't have.  I'd be so focused on my physical need that I would probably be happily munching away on some newly created bread before I even realized I'd given in to temptation!  And yet, how did Jesus respond?

And he answered, "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" (vs. 4)

My point is this:  If Jesus - knowing that He was going to eventually go up to heaven and be seated at the right hand of God - still focused on each day as a chance to glorify His Father in heaven, shouldn't we follow His example?


Yes, God has a plan for your life and your future.  Yes, it's exciting where He's taking you and what He's going to do through you to further His kingdom and glorify Himself.


BUT, if you get so caught up in a good thing that's coming that you miss out on great opportunities in the present to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ - what good is it?


It's a challenge for us all.  Don't check out!  We can't afford to miss a single chance to show Christ to someone in how we live today.

Bipolar

Long story short, I had a student in one of my classes get into trouble with me and the explanation they gave to administration for why they shouldn't get punished was:  "He's bipolar."  Ha!  I've never heard that excuse before, but at least it's creative...


That excuse got me thinking about some things, though.  It made me really reflect on my life, even consider whether I was actually bipolar or not.  And you know what I've concluded?


I am.


No, I don't mean in the clinical, "characteristic cycles of depression and elation" kind of way.   But I do think there are definitely two forces inside of me that battle on a daily basis.  There are two poles to which I feel pulled and it's a constant struggle for me to deal with them.  I read a passage like Romans 7:15-25 and I completely understand what Paul is going through:

"For I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.  Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.  So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.  So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.  For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.  Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

I read that and I get the feeling that Paul literally sounds like a crazy person!  And then I think, "Me, too!"  Paul has perfectly captured in words the battle, the war that we all wage as believers.  I hope that you read a passage like that and you feel the same feeling resonating inside of you.  We struggle!  It's true.  Why not admit it?  Why not be honest about where we are in life instead of just pretending that everything's okay and telling everyone that we have it all together.  That's the furthest thing from the truth than anything I've heard in a long time.


Does that mean that we relish the fact that we're sinners?  That we just keep on sinning because, "I've already messed up this much.  What's one more sin?"  No, not by any means!  Paul even addresses that very issue in a previous chapter of Romans (6:1-4).  I do think, though, that we should be honest with people about sin in our lives and be the first to admit when we struggle with things.


I love what our pastor talked about in church this morning, too.  He talked about confession and how having good Christian accountability can do so much for a person.  That means admitting that you struggle with (insert sin here) and letting someone help you in that struggle.  That means holding other people accountable as well.  There's just no need to pretend anymore.  There's no point to playing this game that we all get caught up in, the game that says, "It's all those other people who are struggling with sin - I'm okay." or "My sin's not as bad as that guy's." or "No one will understand.  My sin is so much worse than everyone else."


Remember, Christ didn't come to save the people who have it all together.  He came to save the sinners.  He came to seek out the lost - and believe me, without Him we're all lost.


This whole world's full of crazy, bipolar people...and Jesus is the only one with the cure.

That Person

Picture this:  you're sitting in a cafe (or whatever place you frequent often) and in walks that person.  You know who I'm talking about.  They're the person that every time you talk to them you come away feeling negative. It could even be discouraging to talk to them at times.  Honestly, do you know someone like that?


It's hard isn't it?  Trying to make conversation when the person just keeps finding something negative to talk about, even in the most positive of situations.


Question:  Are you ever that person?  Am I?


I was reading Philemon this morning and the Lord pointed several things out to me.  Usually, I read it and the main theme that resonates is the idea of reconciliation and making sure that I've dealt with conflict appropriately.  This morning, however, I noticed that on two different instances Paul uses a form of the word "refresh."

"For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you."  vs. 7

"Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord.  Refresh my heart in Christ."  vs. 20 

I just couldn't get away from it.  Literally, I had to go get the Greek Lexicon off of the shelf and start looking up root words and uses in other areas of the Bible because I just kept thinking about that word.


It took me all day thinking about it to finally realize what God was trying to say to me.


Sometimes I am that person.


And so, yet again, I'm convicted - not that it's a bad thing, mind you - it's just tough to seek growth in your walk with God because the closer you get the more sin you see.  I think Paul is right on when he commends Philemon for being an individual who is refreshing to be around.  Philemon does it for the whole body of believers through the way he lives out his faith (vs. 7), but he also does it for Paul individually through obedience and reconciliation (vs. 20).


It's a great example to live by because we all have times where life gets just plain overwhelming and stressful and we can tend to get negative - even if you don't, I know I certainly do.  But I think the important thing is to remember that everyone else has those times, too.  Why not follow the example of Philemon?  Wouldn't you prefer be that breath of fresh air to someone rather than foul, stale air?  Wouldn't you like to be the person that people look forward to talking to?


Or would you rather be known as that person?

Another Round

This post keeps coming to mind.  It's been reminding me of what I already know but had forgotten in the stresses of the past few days.  Thank you, Lord, for being faithful even when I'm faithless (2 Timothy 2:11-13).


Check it out here.


Maybe one of you out there needs the reminder as badly as I did.  

Voices

I'm participating today (the best that I can considering my job as a teacher) and I'm asking that you participate as well.  We can make a difference just by silencing our voices for those who never had a chance to speak for themselves.

Rocking Chairs

Isabella has this little $2 plastic chair that she LOVES.  I mean, she will get it out, push it around, pull it from room to room, sit in it, get up, move it to another spot, sit in it again, and on and on...It's crazy how much she enjoys that chair!


This morning, in the midst of playing with her chair, she discovered that she could lean and make the chair rock back and forth.  The problem is - it's not a rocking chair.  Not at all.  In fact, this chair is barely solid enough to hold her up while sitting normally (hence, the cheapness).  So, grinning happily, she leans forward and tilts the chair.  Then she leans back and tilts it further.  Over and over, forward and back, progressively leaning more and more away from the chair's center of gravity.  Of course, you know what happened next.  She leaned too far back and - BONK! - on the floor she went...


Five minutes of tears and snot later...


I'm sitting there rocking her in my arms, wishing I had been fast enough to catch her, and rewinding the whole thing in my head.  You know what kept coming to mind while I pondered?


A line.  Specifically, a line established by God as the standard between right and wrong.  I know that seems like a wild connection, but hear me out.


I think sometimes we treat our freedom in Christ like that chair.


Christ came to free us from the law through grace (Romans 6:14), true.  But that doesn't mean we don't have any limitations to our living, that we can just do whatever we want to do (Romans 6:1).  Christ came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it (Matthew 5:17), and so there's this line drawn for us in the sand.  A line that differentiates us from the world.  A line that sets us apart as holy for the purpose of glorifying our Father in heaven.  And yet, I see people stepping closer and closer to the line.  I see this chair being tilted forward and back, precariously close to falling.


I hear people say, "Nothing's wrong with having one or two beers.  It's not like I'm getting drunk."  Or they say, "Just because the music I listen to has cuss words in it doesn't mean I'm cussing."  Oh, and this is my favorite - "I'm not lusting.  I'm just appreciating God's creation."


Are you kidding me?!


All over the world there are believers (and I include myself in this) getting as close to the line as they possibly can, abusing and making a mockery of the grace that they've been shown.  To quote Paul, "By no means!"


Since when did it become okay to do wrong (by Christ's standards, not the world's) and then justify it in some way or other?  If we are doing anything that causes or could cause a brother or sister in Christ to stumble, to trip up, to fall into sin - we are wrong. We. Are. Sinning. (Romans 14:13-23)


So, what should we do?  What's the take away?


We should be trying to live a life as far away from the line as possible.  We should be sitting in that chair as still as can be, or not even sitting in the chair at all.  Know why?  Because if we don't stop leaning, if we don't stop playing around right on the edge of danger - we'll fall.  Big time.  With a bruise and bump on our noggin to show for it.  While I didn't let Isabella fall on purpose, that fall certainly taught her a lesson.  Later, she went back to it very carefully, making sure that she didn't lean at all.  I don't think God wants to see His children hurting, but He certainly isn't beyond letting us "fall out of our chair" to teach us a lesson (Proverbs 3:11-12, Hebrews 12:4-11).

Effort

This morning I was reading the fourth chapter of Paul's letter to the Colossians and I stumbled across this verse.  I know I've read it before, but it was new and fresh to me today so I thought I'd share:

"Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God." (vs. 12)

That word...struggling...it hung me up a bit.  After a little research on Bible Gateway (my favorite online Bible resource, by the way), I found what other translations put in place of 'struggling'.


Wrestling...
Laboring...
Tireless...


I don't know about you but those words all imply work to me.  Effort.  Intentionality, even.  So then, I started thinking.  When is the last time I prayed and it felt like work?  I don't mean that I prayed begrudgingly.  I mean, when is the last time that I prayed so hard and so fervently that an observer would say I was "struggling on your behalf in his prayers"?


I honestly don't know.  Saying that out loud sounds so terrible to me.  It makes me ashamed.  It makes me embarrassed.  But it's true.


And so, yet again, Paul smacks me around a bit.  I hope every time I read the Word I come away sore with the work out it's given me, my pride chipped away more and more, yet stronger in my faith and with something tangible to apply in my life as a result.


Here's the take away - I'm making it a point to pray.  More specifically, to pray hard.  To struggle, to wrestle, to labor, to tirelessly pour out my heart to the Father of Life who hears our prayers and answers our cries as we lift up our praise, thanks, confessions, and requests to Him.  And I'm praying for you, the reader, that you will continue to see the Lord for who He is in your life and continue to seek after Him - the only One who can give peace and direction and purpose to your life.


I would love to know if you have anything specific you would like me to pray for and I will gladly pray for your requests.  Leave me a comment.


Oh, and will you join with me in praying?

Exams

At the school where I teach, this week is exam week.  It's that special time during the school year that only comes around once every 9 weeks. The students are all restless with anticipation and (just to show how excited they are) they all spend weeks preparing for them - studying all the notes that they've so painstakingly written, pouring over practice problems that they've made up in their spare time to help with the preparation, and even forming impromptu study groups in the cafeteria while they munch on healthy food choices.


Who am I kidding?  Do you really think that my students eagerly anticipate taking their exams?  No way!  I feel lucky if they even remember that they have an exam, much less study for it adequately enough to perform well.  I mean, I have literally heard a kid walk into class and say out loud, "We have an exam in here?"


So this morning, as I was thinking about the day ahead of me and all that it entailed, I remembered something that I tell my kids all the time - but especially when a big test or exam is coming up:  Don't wait until the last minute to study!


Now, why do I say that?  I say it because when they wait until the last minute all kinds of bad things can happen.  They could find that they've lost their notes and have nothing to study.  Or they could not remember how to work a problem (even though we've worked it in class together many times).  Maybe they get themselves confused on a concept and then don't have time to come ask for help.  Ultimately (and we all know this because we've been there a time or two), bad things usually happen when we wait until the last minute to get it done.  And what is the end result of waiting to cram the night before a test or exam?  Failure.


I know it's terrible to think about those kids failing a test or exam, but we do it to ourselves as well, don't we?  What do you do when you're tempted to sin?  Where do you go for guidance in resisting the devil?  To Whom do you turn when you've given in and feel overcome with guilt?  You see, why is it that I can shake my head in disappointment at my kids who all wait until the last minute to study for their test, yet I do the same exact thing in my own life?


Why do we wait until we are in the middle of temptation to pray and consult God's Word?  Why do we wait until temptation has nearly overtaken us to go running to the Father for help in our time of need?  Just like waiting until the night before the exam, if you don't take the time to prepare for the test well in advance of it, you will fail.


I think that very same phrase from earlier can apply to us as well.  Don't wait until the last minute to study.  Here's what the Bible has to say about it:

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."        Psalm 119:11

God knows us just like I know my students.  He knows we end up waiting until the very last minute to ask for help, but that's the most difficult time to remember that he has made a way out of our temptation.  When we are caught in the midst of temptation, it seems the last thing we think of is asking God for help.  But what happens if we've been storing His Word away in our hearts the whole time?  It just flows out, naturally, from frequency of use, and then the temptation becomes easier to run away from.  Jesus modeled it for us himself.  What did He do when faced with the temptation of the devil?  He quoted scripture.  What should we do when faced with temptation?  Quote scripture.


Of course, that means we have to have it hidden in our hearts in the first place.


Just a reminder for us all today - don't wait until the last minute to study.
  

Fearless

Have you ever heard a story, maybe on the news or the radio, about someone in another country who is being persecuted for their faith?  Maybe you read that book "Jesus Freak" by DC Talk that tells stories about followers of Christ being imprisoned, tortured, even killed for their preaching of the gospel?


What is your reaction to stories like that?


I'll tell you mine.  I say, "Aw.  Man.  That is terrible.  I wish there was something I could do.  I will definitely pray for them."  Sound familiar?


Compare my response with that of Paul's contemporaries:

"And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear." Phil. 1:14

Wow. Here I am listening to a story about someone who has given up their life for the sake of the gospel and I respond with "I'll pray for them."  Don't get me wrong, prayer is great.  It's amazing.  It's wonderful.  It should be a part of every response that I have to every situation. The convicting part of this verse for me is that while I settle and let prayer be good enough, the believers in the early church didn't stop there.  They saw how Paul was imprisoned and it only made them more bold!  It only made them preach more!


Where did we go wrong?  What happened to us?  Why are we not out there shouting the name of Christ from the rooftops because we can't do anything else in response to the persecution of believers around the globe?  Why are we not telling our friends and family, who we say we love, about Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for their sins?


Is it because, just maybe, we've become comfortable?  Have we gotten into our little routines of going to work, taking kids to games, studying for class, going to church, etc. and completely forgotten about our true calling in life?  Have we become complacent in our comfort?


Or is it a belief issue?  Do we really believe what we say we believe?  Do we really believe that Jesus Christ saves us from our sins and makes our lives new?  Do we really believe that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father except through Him?


I suppose my take away today is urgency.  I want to have a heart and mind that is just as burdened for the lost as Paul was, just as urgent about sharing the good news as his brothers in Christ were upon seeing Paul in prison.  I want to be fearless.


What about you?

Radical

So I recently finished the book "Radical" by David Platt and let me just say to those of you who haven't read it - Go.  Now.  Don't delay.  Read it.  Did I mention now??


There's a catch, though.  A big one.


If you want to keep living your church-going, song-singing, comfortable-living, status-quo, "keeping up with the Jonses" lifestyle...well...this book is not for you.


BUT...


If you want to have your world completely rocked, if you want to be haunted by the message that it speaks to your heart, and if you want to radically change your life for the glory of God and the furthering of His kingdom then this book IS for you.


I can't put into words all of the thoughts that are going through my mind and heart about this book.  Specifically, I'm convicted that I am much more concerned with the things of this world than the things of God and - let me be honest here - that is NOT the picture God has for my life (or yours for that matter).  I spend way more time and money on food and books than caring for the widows and the orphans of this world.  And guess what?  There is not a single verse in the Bible that says it's okay for me to worry about the next book I buy or the next meal I eat.  However, James 1:27 makes it crystal clear as to what I should be concerned about:

"Religion that our God and Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

I don't know about you, but that doesn't leave much room for interpretation.  In fact, it seems to be exactly opposite of what I just described that my own priorities are looking like.  Go look at your own checkbook - what are you spending your time and money on?  Does your list of priorities seem just as backwards as my own?  Are you living a life that is "polluted by the world?"


And that's just one point that Platt brings up throughout the book.


Here's the long and short of it:  This is not meant to be a book review.  This is meant to be a challenge.  Go read the book.  More importantly, go read the book and come away changed, altered, distressed and disturbed.  The point is not for Platt to get the recognition for writing a good book and saying all of these things that are convicting and unsettling.  The point is that we should be convicted.  We should be unsettled.  We should be reminded of and called back to our first love - Jesus Christ - and we should align our lives with what Jesus actually said for our lives to look like, not what we're pretending Christianity is all about.


If you spent more time reading this than you have your Bible all week, there's an issue.
If you spent more time on facebook than sharing the gospel all week, there's an issue.


I'm not perfect and I certainly have just as much to work on as you do, probably more.  The reason I write all of this is not to make you feel bad and put myself up on a high horse casting judgment and condemnation down on everyone else.  The reason I write all of this is because I want more.  I want more than just the mundane drudgery of going to work and bringing home a paycheck and spending money and dying with nothing to show for it but a bunch of stuff!  I want to spend my energy giving it all away - my time, my money, my life - for the glory of God the Father.  It's what we were made to do anyway!


Who cares if people think we're weird because we do things differently than they do?  That's what people need to see.  It's radical to follow Jesus.  Normal to Him is entirely backwards to the rest of the world.


So be radical.


I dare you.

Molded

Thursday for my quiet time I was reading in Hebrews and there was a particular verse that stuck out to me.  Honestly, I didn't even know why it did at first.  I've been mulling it over for the past day or two just trying to make sense of it in my heart and let God show me what He was trying to show me through that verse.  Here it is:

"For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering."  Hebrews 2:10

I ended up leaving for work quite a bit early (because of meeting with the guys that I meet with on Thursday mornings), and I sat for about an hour and read through a sermon on this exact verse that was preached in 1826 (or so) by Charles Haddon Spurgeon.  Enlightening to say the least.  Spurgeon spoke about the fact that it was not Christ who was made perfect through suffering (because He already was) but the sacrifice itself that was made perfect.  Here's the thing - I don't really understand how all of that works.  But I know this:  If Jesus was making a sacrifice that was perfected through suffering, then it only makes sense that suffering in our lives has some purpose (whether we can see it or not) and that this suffering is molding us more and more into the image of Christ.


C.S. Lewis said in his book The Problem of Pain, "Tribulations cannot cease until God either sees us remade or sees that our remaking is now hopeless."  I tend to agree with Mr. Lewis, especially after this reading of Hebrews 2.


So, I think God is reminding me that pain hurts.  A lot.  But that ultimately His purposes are served through that pain and He's using it to make me more like Him.


I think He's also showing me that if I find myself in situations where I'm not being challenged to be more like Christ, then I need to run away as hard and fast as humanly possible.


And so I ask myself (and you) - Am I being molded into the image of Christ?  Is God perhaps using the pain I may feel at times to draw me more into Him and His will for my life?  Is God showing me something that I need to run hard and fast away from?


Lord, help me to humbly face the answers to these questions and give me the strength to change my life accordingly.

Forsaken

The past couple of weeks have been a blur, to say the least.  However, I've had this thought brewing in my mind the whole time.  It started one morning (I think) while I was driving to school: "What does it look like to completely forsake the world?"

I think what shocked me most about the line of thinking that followed was that I wasn't even thinking "spiritual" thoughts when it came to me.  Literally, driving down the road, it just popped in my head - out of the blue, you might say.  After the initial shock of such a thought I began to try to wrap my head around this idea.  What does it look like to forsake the world?  It's an uncomfortable conversation for me to have with myself because there are so many things in this world that I love, so many things that I devote myself to doing, so many things that I give time and effort and money and attention and...and...and...you get my drift?

For me, thinking about forsaking the world means giving up a lot of things.  It means my passions become different.  It means my priorities change.

It certainly didn't help the process when our pastor spoke at Wednesday night service.  He referenced this verse:

"For neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation."  Galatians 6:15

You see, his point was the same that I'd been pondering for more than a week.  It's the same point that Paul is making in his letter to the church in Galatia.  It's the same point that we all as Christ followers should be asking ourselves on a daily basis - when all is said and done, is your life being made every day into a new creation in Christ?  Are the things that you pursue of this world or of Christ?  Or are you trying to compromise and do both - pursue the world and Christ?

You can see why Wednesday was so effective in my heart.  It served to confirm these thoughts that have been floating around in my head, it helped to solidify things and make them more clear.


Our church calls Wednesday night service 'Renewal', and for me it was that and so much more.  For me it was confirmation of the calling on my life.  It was affirming and encouraging to be reminded of what God's been doing in my heart and where He's been molding different areas of my life to change me more into His image.


And it was also convicting as I began to think about the things that I pursue in life that are not what I should be pursuing.  In my own life, it's books, movies, approval and a host of other things.  What is it in your life?  Football?  Maintaining an image?  Clothes?  Popularity?  Being religious?  Regardless of what your pursuits are, the question is not what are you and I pursuing.  The question is what are we doing to change the things that we pursue in life?  What are we doing to seek more after Christ?  What are we doing to forsake the world?


This question's been on my mind ever since our pastor asked it Wednesday night.  He said he wanted to haunt us with this question, and I'd say he did a good job of it (at least with me):

"What is your life marked by?"

Hummingbirds

This weekend Beth and I went with a group of leaders in our church to do some planning for the college small groups that are starting in the next few weeks.  I got up early on Saturday morning, well before everyone else, because I enjoy that time alone.  For me, it's a chance to sit quietly and read my Bible, drink a cup of coffee, and truly rest in the Lord.  Even if I'm really tired I find myself energized by that, prepared to face whatever the day has in store.

So, I went outside with my Bible and journal to enjoy the cool of the morning while I read, and just as I had gotten settled into the rocking chair and reading from Psalm 100 I heard a buzzing noise.  I looked up and nothing was there, so I dismissed it.  The second time I heard the noise I ignored it for a moment, but when it persisted I looked up and there was a hummingbird, getting nectar from a feeder nearby.  It kept doing this interesting thing, though.  It would get some nectar, then back up and look at me, then get some nectar, back up and look at me - definitely an interesting experience being stared down by a hummingbird...

Anyway, as a result, two thoughts occurred as I watched this tiny little bird feeding and watching and feeding again.

The first was of the song by Tenth Avenue North called "Love is Here."  The lyrics say, "Come to the water you who thirst and you'll thirst no more."  I was reminded that just as this hummingbird needed that water for life, so also do I need the living water that Jesus offers in John 4:

"Jesus said to her, 'Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.  The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

I love the picture of that bird coming for water, needing that water to sustain life, and the reminder that Christ offers us all water that's better than any we could ever find on earth - pure enough to quench our thirst for eternity.

The second thought was of the scene in C.S. Lewis' The Silver Chair where Jill meets Aslan for the first time, posted here in its entirety because I could never do justice describing it.  The main gist is that Aslan (the symbolic Christ-figure in the Narnia series) offers Jill water and she is concerned about the danger of drinking the water in the presence of the largest, wildest, most dangerous looking Lion she's ever seen.  As I watched the hummingbird, who needed and wanted the life-giving nectar, it also kept an eye out for me, the very large human who could destroy its life in an instant.

More fitting than the scene in The Silver Chair, though, the hummingbird really reminded me of 1 Peter 5:8, which says:

"Be sober-minded; be watchful.  Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Peter is telling us to be watchful because just like I could have jumped up to harm the hummingbird, so also is the devil prowling around looking for any way that he can possibly destroy us.  I find it quite easy in my own life to remember that Jesus is the living water, but all too often I let my guard down and don't keep an eye out for the schemes of the devil.  He's crafty and cunning, and if I let up watching for just one minute, he steps right past my defenses and starts wreaking havoc in my life.

I'm taking the hummingbird as an example of what I want to emulate - while I continually come to the Lord as my source of life, I also want to keep watch so that I don't get caught in the snares of the devil.

And I'm praying the same thing for you.