Questions

Have you read or heard the account of Jesus feeding the 4000?  Not the 5000, the 4000.  It's not one that I've read in a while, but that was part of my reading this morning.  Here's the beginning part:

"Then Jesus called His disciples to Him and said, 'I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat.  And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.'  And the disciples said to him, 'Where are we going to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd?'"  Matthew 15:32-33

The question that the disciples ask is sticking with me today.  Like an itch I can't scratch.  In a good way.


I wrote in my Bible as I was reading - "had they not seen the 5000 fed?" - and I literally wonder about that very thing.  Just a few chapters ago, Matthew wrote down the account of Jesus feeding the 5000.  Which is interesting because if the disciples questioned Jesus then, and they did, then their questions were more than answered.  5000 people (women and children not included) were fed.  12 baskets full of food was left over!  Jesus provides for His people.  Case closed.  But then 4000 people (women and children not included) come along and what's the first thing the disciples say to Jesus?


"Jesus, we know you can meet this need!  We've seen it!"
"Pssh!  4000 people!  That's nothing!  My Jesus fed 5000 people last week - this is child's play!"
"Jesus, we collected food from everyone.  It's only 7 loaves and some fish, but we know you can multiply it.  Will you bless the food so we can feed these people?"


They didn't say any of these things.  They questioned.  They showed their lack of faith - yet again - that Jesus would accomplish the impossible.  "Where are we going to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd?"  I can almost hear the whining.  Jesus has proved Himself time and time again to be a faithful, trustworthy provider.  And the disciples still hadn't learned the lesson.  They still questioned Him.


Here's the thing, though.  The reason this question bothers me so much, I think, is because it reminds me of...well...me.  I see it in myself all the time.  I see (and hear) myself questioning God and not putting the whole of my trust in Him.  I whine about my circumstances and forget that all along the way God has provided me with more blessing than I could ever deserve.  He's proved Himself a faithful, trustworthy provider time and again and yet I still question Him.  I still show my lack of faith.


I think about that account and I know how I would have responded to the disciples' question.  "Um.  I'm Jesus.  I just fed 5000 people with three loaves and two fish.  Oh, and after that I healed some people and did other miracles.  I think I can handle 4000."  But He didn't respond that way, did He?  He took the bread and fish, prayed thanks to God for them, and fed the 4000.  And again, Jesus proves His provision.  He proves His faithfulness, in spite of the faithlessness of the disciples.


It's the same in my life.  And yours.  He continues to prove His faithful, trustworthy provision time and time again - in spite of how faithless we can be.  Isn't it about time we trusted Him?