Altogether

Wow.  This feels almost unfamiliar.  It's been too long since I wrote anything down.  Maybe it's like riding a bike - I just need to get going.

We came to my parents' house for the night, and this morning while sipping my coffee I got the chance to read some of my dad's journals from a time in his life when things were not easy (to say the least) - but he was still faithful to seek the Lord and God was still faithful in His promises to my dad.  It's an awesome picture of struggling with life, asking tough questions of God, and seeing Him answer those questions - even if the answers were not exactly what was hoped for.  It's encouraging to know that the man I most look up to as I journey through life (spiritually and otherwise) has had struggles and seen God prove Himself faithful time and again.

This morning I also spent some time reading in the Psalms, 139 to be exact.  Verse 4 stood out to me, and as I thought about it conviction started to set in...

"Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether."

I've read this verse before, and having read James as well, it is not a new lesson for me to think about taming my tongue and thinking before I speak.  But 'altogether' still sticks out to me.  I realized as I read that God knows what I'll say before I speak it, that's true.  What convicts me today is that God also knows the intentions behind my words before I say them.  I can lie to myself and mislead other people all day long, but at the end of the day God knows why I chose to say (or not say) what I did.

He knows that I didn't speak truth when I had perfect opportunity - because I was scared.

He knows that I said something judgementally - even though I claim "I'm just concerned."

It's a hard thing to face your intentions, the hidden meanings behind what you do and say.  It's even harder to admit it online where anyone can judge me.  That's okay, though.  I'm glad the Psalm doesn't end there.  David continues,

"Where shall I go from your Spirit?  Or where shall I flee from your presence? ... Search me, O God, and know my thoughts!  And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (vs. 7, 23-24)

I'm praying that same prayer - God search me out.  Know me altogether.  Continue to convict and encourage me through Your Word.  Continue to inspire me through the stories of other believers who are further down the road than myself.

A Remnant

On occasions when I'm by myself and thinking about life, there have been some times where I've felt lonely.  It's the kind of lonely that Elijah felt in 1 Kings:

"I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts.  For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away." (1 Kings 19:14)

Don't get me wrong - I'm not claiming to be a prophet or to have everything together.  That's not it at all.  I'm far from perfect and God has a lot of molding left to do in me.  I'm just saying that sometimes I really resonate with Elijah in this passage.  He's had to be the bearer of bad news (a drought for an unspecified amount of time), challenged and killed a whole slew of Baal prophets, and now Jezebel wants his head on a platter.  He feels like he's the only one left who believes in God.

Do you ever feel that way?  Maybe at work you're the only Christian...or at school you're the only one of your friends who stands up for the kid who's being bullied...or you have Christian friends who aren't living out their faith while you struggle to be genuine.  It can be quite discouraging...


Look at how God replied to Elijah, though - "Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him." (vs.18)  Encouraging?  Yes!  God saw what Elijah could not - a remnant of people who were faithful to Him.  I've been reading in Revelation the last few days (in the L3 Journal) and I noticed a similar pattern.


In Revelation 2 and 3, there are 7 letters to 7 churches and almost all of them have a fault of some sort.  But in each of the 7 churches, Jesus sees and points out a faithful few.  They are the people of the church who are "faithful unto death" and who still "hold fast my name", who continue in "faithful endurance" and suffer "tribulation and poverty" for His name.  It's a beautiful picture of a world that is broken, even churches that are broken and people who have remained faithful.  They are the remnant.


And so I'm challenged today because, well...you and I?  We are those people.  We are the few.  We are the remnant.  Be encouraged today to live out your faith.  Keep pressing on in the effort to live for Christ, even when it seems that no one around you is with you in that effort, because God has set us apart for His purposes.