One day while we were at home doing our Saturday thing, which usually consists of sleeping late and breakfast together. We had finished eating and were trying to get things cleaned up and put away, so Isabella was down playing around with who knows what. Obviously my memory is failing me (mainly because it's been a while since this happened), but I remember that she did something wrong...multiple times. We'd tell her stop, no, don't do that and she would just keep doing it. Hence the reason for a spanking.
Now, I'm not here to go on and on about correct or incorrect ways to discipline children (that's a choice for you to make), but I do want to explain our process. Beth and I decided together to give warning enough so that Isabella knows what she's doing is wrong and then resort to spanking when it's obvious that she's rebelling against our authority as parents. The rule of thumb for us is to sit her down, explain what she did wrong, why it's wrong, and that she is getting a spanking because we love her and only then does the spanking occur. No spanking out of anger or frustration! She says she's sorry afterwards and we give her a hug and kiss and tell her again that we love her and we move on to the rest of the day.
Does she understand everything at this age? I don't know. I hope so. I think the important thing right now is that we train ourselves as parents to be consistent in how we punish so that later on when our children actually start questioning and seeking understanding, we will be able to easily explain what we're doing and why.
That said, as I began earlier, it all started with a spanking. I'm sitting there, in the chair, Isabella in my lap, and I'm explaining to her that she needs to obey us because we're her parents and the Bible says:
No really, it was so simple, but I had this realization (I seem to get a lot of those while parenting lately...) I know the Bible says for children to honor their parents - I agree wholeheartedly! - but I had this thought while I was talking - two words:
EARN IT.
I was kind of taken aback, even paused in my explanation for a moment, because I wasn't expecting a word from the Lord while disciplining. The words wouldn't go away. Echoing in my head, I kept thinking about it, processing, mulling over it...earn it...what does that even mean? I think I may be stretching things a bit, but this is what I think God was trying to get across to me that day.
Children are supposed to honor their fathers and mothers, I don't discount that at all. I stand by that today just as strongly, if not more so, as I always have. But, what if we as parents live in such a way as to make obeying that commandment easier? I think God's calling us to live in an honorable way so that when we ask our children to obey that command, they are willing to do so because they see that we are worthy of honoring.
I know, not all parents are Christians who seek to glorify God in what they do and how they parent. I know that there are abusers and cheaters and druggies and alcoholics and the children of those parents probably struggle more with that commandment than any other commandment. I know also that honoring your father and mother is not a conditional thing - it means you honor your parents regardless of whether or not they are honorable.
BUT.
The Bible indicates pretty clearly that we as parents have just as much duty, if not more so, to our children as they have to us.
Thought for the day: what would the world look like if it were full of parents who sought to be worthy of the honor their children are commanded to show? Live honorably today. Maybe we can change the world.
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12I'm telling her about respect for authority and hitting all three of my points and all 7 subpoints of my carefully thought out sermon on the intricacies of parenthood - and let me just be honest - it was good! Spurgeon would be proud!
No really, it was so simple, but I had this realization (I seem to get a lot of those while parenting lately...) I know the Bible says for children to honor their parents - I agree wholeheartedly! - but I had this thought while I was talking - two words:
EARN IT.
I was kind of taken aback, even paused in my explanation for a moment, because I wasn't expecting a word from the Lord while disciplining. The words wouldn't go away. Echoing in my head, I kept thinking about it, processing, mulling over it...earn it...what does that even mean? I think I may be stretching things a bit, but this is what I think God was trying to get across to me that day.
Children are supposed to honor their fathers and mothers, I don't discount that at all. I stand by that today just as strongly, if not more so, as I always have. But, what if we as parents live in such a way as to make obeying that commandment easier? I think God's calling us to live in an honorable way so that when we ask our children to obey that command, they are willing to do so because they see that we are worthy of honoring.
I know, not all parents are Christians who seek to glorify God in what they do and how they parent. I know that there are abusers and cheaters and druggies and alcoholics and the children of those parents probably struggle more with that commandment than any other commandment. I know also that honoring your father and mother is not a conditional thing - it means you honor your parents regardless of whether or not they are honorable.
BUT.
The Bible indicates pretty clearly that we as parents have just as much duty, if not more so, to our children as they have to us.
"Father's do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4I take that command from Paul very seriously. Doesn't that seem like a parent who is leading by example and worthy of the honor their children show them? Doesn't that seem like a parent who is seeking to glorify God? Do I get it right every time? No. I hope sometimes I do, but more often than not I'll fail because in my own strength I am nothing. But God is working daily in my life to mold me into His image just as He is working daily in Isabella's life to mold her. It's a two way street so far as I see it - one way leading to a better parent and one way leading to a better child. All of it glorifies God that much more!
Thought for the day: what would the world look like if it were full of parents who sought to be worthy of the honor their children are commanded to show? Live honorably today. Maybe we can change the world.
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