Earn It

I've been thinking about this idea for about a month and a half or so.  It all started with a spanking.

One day while we were at home doing our Saturday thing, which usually consists of sleeping late and breakfast together.  We had finished eating and were trying to get things cleaned up and put away, so Isabella was down playing around with who knows what.  Obviously my memory is failing me (mainly because it's been a while since this happened), but I remember that she did something wrong...multiple times.  We'd tell her stop, no, don't do that and she would just keep doing it.  Hence the reason for a spanking.

Now, I'm not here to go on and on about correct or incorrect ways to discipline children (that's a choice for you to make), but I do want to explain our process.  Beth and I decided together to give warning enough so that Isabella knows what she's doing is wrong and then resort to spanking when it's obvious that she's rebelling against our authority as parents.  The rule of thumb for us is to sit her down, explain what she did wrong, why it's wrong, and that she is getting a spanking because we love her and only then does the spanking occur.  No spanking out of anger or frustration!  She says she's sorry afterwards and we give her a hug and kiss and tell her again that we love her and we move on to the rest of the day.

Does she understand everything at this age?  I don't know.  I hope so.  I think the important thing right now is that we train ourselves as parents to be consistent in how we punish so that later on when our children actually start questioning and seeking understanding, we will be able to easily explain what we're doing and why.

That said, as I began earlier, it all started with a spanking.  I'm sitting there, in the chair, Isabella in my lap, and I'm explaining to her that she needs to obey us because we're her parents and the Bible says:

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."  Exodus 20:12

I'm telling her about respect for authority and hitting all three of my points and all 7 subpoints of my carefully thought out sermon on the intricacies of parenthood - and let me just be honest - it was good!  Spurgeon would be proud!


No really, it was so simple, but I had this realization (I seem to get a lot of those while parenting lately...)  I know the Bible says for children to honor their parents - I agree wholeheartedly! - but I had this thought while I was talking - two words:


EARN IT.


I was kind of taken aback, even paused in my explanation for a moment, because I wasn't expecting a word from the Lord while disciplining.  The words wouldn't go away.  Echoing in my head, I kept thinking about it, processing, mulling over it...earn it...what does that even mean?  I think I may be stretching things a bit, but this is what I think God was trying to get across to me that day.


Children are supposed to honor their fathers and mothers, I don't discount that at all.  I stand by that today just as strongly, if not more so, as I always have.  But, what if we as parents live in such a way as to make obeying that commandment easier?  I think God's calling us to live in an honorable way so that when we ask our children to obey that command, they are willing to do so because they see that we are worthy of honoring.


I know, not all parents are Christians who seek to glorify God in what they do and how they parent.  I know that there are abusers and cheaters and druggies and alcoholics and the children of those parents probably struggle more with that commandment than any other commandment.  I know also that honoring your father and mother is not a conditional thing - it means you honor your parents regardless of whether or not they are honorable.


BUT.


The Bible indicates pretty clearly that we as parents have just as much duty, if not more so, to our children as they have to us.

"Father's do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  Ephesians 6:4

I take that command from Paul very seriously.  Doesn't that seem like a parent who is leading by example and worthy of the honor their children show them?  Doesn't that seem like a parent who is seeking to glorify God?  Do I get it right every time?  No.  I hope sometimes I do, but more often than not I'll fail because in my own strength I am nothing.  But God is working daily in my life to mold me into His image just as He is working daily in Isabella's life to mold her. It's a two way street so far as I see it - one way leading to a better parent and one way leading to a better child.  All of it glorifies God that much more!


Thought for the day:  what would the world look like if it were full of parents who sought to be worthy of the honor their children are commanded to show?  Live honorably today.  Maybe we can change the world.

Poured Out

I'm actually a day behind in reading the L3 journal, but I have to admit - after today I'm actually glad for it.  This morning I got up, doggedly went through my workout routine (I'm about 4 1/2 weeks into p90x), hurried to get ready for work, and went to the coffee shop down the street for a cup of steaming hot brew and a couple minutes of quiet reading.  To be honest, I was reading in a little bit of a rush, feeling stressed because of work, and I was not really focused on getting the most out of my quiet time.  You ever been there?


Anyway, I get all the way to the end of the selection and this verse just jumps out at me.  And it wasn't one of those things where I said to myself, "Huh, that's cool."  It went straight to the heart and spoke to me exactly where I am right now.  Here's the verse:

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."  Psalm 62:8

It's like God was telling me, "Stop!  You're going and running and stressing and forgetting that I am GOD!  You've tried to rush me along and forgotten that I am the Wonderful Counselor!  Rest in me.  Trust in me.  Seek refuge from the storms of life in me."


I forget the awesome truth that is represented in that verse all too often, if I'm brutally honest.  I don't take the time to pray - truly pray - and tell God all the stuff that's weighing on me.  The Psalm clearly states "pour out your heart before him" and it's SO true.  He wants to hear it.  He wants to help me with whatever is troubling me, or stressing me, or making me feel lost in the shuffle of daily activity and routine.  Sometimes I feel pulled in eighteen different directions and overwhelmed by it all, but this morning is an incredible reminder to me that God is here with me, ready and waiting for me to pour out my heart to him, confide in him, trust in him, and hope in him.


You know, Beth and I talk all the time about pouring out our own lives in ministry and service to others, but I can't do that unless I'm being poured into and ministered to myself by the Unending Source.  So, the take-away for me today is this:  Am I making it a priority to pour out my heart to Him on a daily basis?  Or am I trying to do it all on my own?  Am I turning to God for counsel and refuge?  Or am I counseling myself and hoping for the best?


I think it's time for a change of mindset.
  

A Prayer

I read a passage in Romans the other day that really made me think of one particular overarching theme.  I'll explain what I mean later, but first I want to share that passage with you:

"Let love be genuine.  Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.  Love one another with brotherly affection.  Outdo one another in showing honor.  Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.  Never be conceited.  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'  To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.'  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."        ~ Romans 12:9-21

I know that's a long passage, much longer than most people would quote when trying to get a point across, but I feel led to share this.  When I read this I felt like it was a prayer.  I know it's probably taking too much license with the meaning of the passage - all the Bible scholars out there can just take a breather for a minute - but it just reads to me like a prayer that Paul is praying over the Christians in Rome.

I imagine him writing his letter and talking about the remnant of Israel and being living sacrifices and then, for no reason other that the Lord led him to do so, feeling the need to pray over the people reading his letter.  I imagine him overwhelmed with desire to see these Christians living in such a way that it stands out as different, unique - completely loving above and beyond anything that was ever expected of them.

As I was thinking about all of that, I became more than convicted.  I felt a stirring in my heart that as I shared this passage I would not just limit myself to words I can put together, that I wouldn't be hindered by anything I would try to say.  Rather, I felt the Lord moving in my heart to simply pray this passage over anyone who reads this post and everyone else that I know.  And so, with all the love that is in me, I am doing that.  Even as I type this, I'm praying for you.  I'm praying that you will:

...love genuinely.
...outdo one another in showing honor.
...rejoice in hope.
...be constant in prayer.
...bless your persecutors.
...live in harmony.
...never avenge yourselves.
...take care of your enemies.

Most importantly, I'm praying that you wouldn't see this passage as another list of things to do (and which in your own strength you can never do), but that you would hear the words of Paul and be called to live a lifestyle like he describes.  Imagine what our world would look like if we just did that.