Truth

'Beware, your sin will find you out!' - Paraphrase of Numbers 32:23

I cannot count how many times I heard that from my dad growing up.  He always had a verse from the Bible to back up what he was admonishing me about, and that one was for the stuff I had done that he hadn't found out about yet!

The older I get though, the more I realize just how wise my dad is.  And it's not just knowledge about the Bible.  It's common sense stuff, too.  I hope I have that good of a head on my shoulders when I'm his age.  He was right to quote that to me, it resounds in my head every time I do something wrong.  He's reminding me subconsciously that even if I think I got away with it (like cutting the cat's whiskers with scissors), I really haven't.  Even if someone on earth never knows what I've done, God knows.

As I was reading in 2 Corinthians 13 this morning, my dad popped into my head again.  Paul is telling the church in verse 8, 

"For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth."

The truth always comes out, always wins, always rises to the top of whatever situation.  Paul is reminding me that honesty really is the best policy.  What's harder to remember?  The truth or a lie?

Or a lie that covered up a lie that you told the other day to protect another lie you told last week which was really just a rearranging of the details to cover someone else who lied for you two years ago to cover up something you did and just now had to lie about again because the first lie was told and if you told the truth now then the first lie would have been a waste of time because then everyone would know that it was really a lie?

Who wants to live like that?!  How much harder is it to just tell the truth?  You have to live with the consequences of either decision, except that if you tell the truth then the consequences are over with a lot sooner...

Come and Listen

I was talking to someone yesterday who is struggling with the internal battles that Paul talks about in Romans 7:

"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.  I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

He sounds a little schizophrenic, but he's right!  I feel the same way sometimes.  We all feel that way sometimes, and this person is right there.  Oh, how I empathize!  I felt like I could really say, "Been there, done that," and mean it.  I could speak from my own life yesterday because I have definitely been there.

Interestingly enough, the Life Journal reading for today seemed so applicable to yesterday's conversation.  In Psalm 66:

"If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.  Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!"

Wow, that speaks to me.  It is so encouraging that God doesn't turn away from us.  That even when we fail, if we cry out to him, he comes and loves us anyway.

And then in 2 Corinthians, Paul is talking about how God comforts the downcast and that sometimes our sin brings deep sorrow to our hearts, but that sorrow leads us to a clearer view of who God is and what he is about.  That sorrow produces "earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."

Paul - you are a genius!  Why are you so encouraging to me?  Oh, yeah, because you're a real person.  You don't try to hide behind some mask.  We know you struggled with sin, we know you messed up, but you still kept doggedly on toward the prize.

God, thank you for an example like Paul!  A real man, with real issues, who just plain got it.  Thank you for speaking through him into my heart.  I need that encouragement sometimes.

What Rights?

Joshua 20 and 1 Corinthians 9 were today's reading from the Life Journal.

To be honest, Joshua 20 didn't seem to me like it really fit with 1 Corinthians 9, unless I were to start really pulling things apart and took the time to "make it fit."  So, I just focused in on Paul's letter to Corinth.

1 Corinthians 9 struck a nice chord in me, and by "nice" I mean "smacked me in the face until I cried a little."  Paul is too convicting for me most days, and today was not an exception.  First, I loved how the entire chapter (at least in my Bible) was titled "Paul Surrenders His Rights."  In my head as I was starting to read this chapter, I was thinking, "Great!  This is already convicting me, and I haven't even read any verses..."

Anyway, Paul is defending some decisions that he has made for the sake of furthering the Gospel.  Then one of my favorite verses of all time, and especially in this chapter, comes along:

"...I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some." 1 Cor. 9:22b

I know I've said this before, but GAH!  Why'd you have to go and say that Paul?  You mean I need to do whatever it takes to bring people to the Kingdom?  You mean I have to give up my "rights" so that people will know Jesus?  Paul even went so far as to say that he would live under the law to save the Jews and give himself a little more freedom from the law, without sinning, to save the Gentiles.

The questions I'm asking myself this morning, then, are these:  Am I being ALL things to ALL people so that some might be saved?  Am I willing to doing anything for the sake of Jesus Christ's call on my life?

There are too many days in my life where the honest answer to those questions is embarrassing.

Battle

"And swelling up inside of us, there's this pride in us, this arrogance
And our only line of defense is the sense that I'm not as half as bad as this friend of mine, so I
must be fine
We mean well, don't we?"
~Jimmy Needham

I was reading in 1 Corinthians 8 this morning (yay, Life Journal!), and it was about not eating food sacrificed to idols. While that is literally applicable to some cultures, I don't know of anyone in the U.S. who regularly struggles with this issue. However, I do think this chapter is still completely convicting for my own heart.

It seems to me that the bigger issue in this chapter is pride. These new Christians were getting thrown off track, stumbling, because the more experienced Christians were proud of the fact that they could eat meat sacrificed to idols. "It's only food. Idols are stupid anyway! We only believe in one God, don't we?" They were prideful! That's what made me think of the Jimmy Needham quote up there.

What they should have been doing was looking out for their less-experienced brothers, setting an example for them because they were too immature in their faith to choose for themselves. See, Paul even says at the end, "Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble." Why does he say this? Because he won't eat meat anymore?

Sure. I guess if it came to that, he wouldn't. But I think the real reason he said something so extreme was because he thinks it's more important to look out for the best interests of his brothers and sisters in Christ. Sounds reminiscent of Philippians 2...

So my question for myself today - what is winning the battle in my life? Pride or Love?

Reality check...I think all to often it's pride...

Weather...or Not

There are two questions I really need to ask myself, probably on a daily basis.

First, do I trust God with all of my life, big or small, even the weather?  I was reading Psalm 29 this morning and it's David just praising away because God takes care of even the weather.  A little thing that we deal with every day, that we don't even really think about because it's nothing that we can do anything about.  And yet, God controls it.  He decides each day whether it will be sunny or rainy, hot or cold.  If He takes care of that, how much more concerned is He of taking care of all the rest of the stuff in my life?  How much more capable is He of being worthy of my trust?  I need to give Him everything.

Second, am I growing?  I was also reading this morning in Mark 4, the account of Jesus calming the sea is in there (which sparked my interest because of the first question), but the majority of the parables in this chapter are about seeds - planting, growing, harvesting.  This would normally have been just a passage where I was casually reminded of the faithfulness of God, to cultivate and grow the seeds He plants, to see the harvest come in, to bring more people into His kingdom.  Normally.

All I have to say is, "GAH!  Mark, why'd you have to go and write that?!"  More like shout, really.  I'm telling you, it seems like every day something reminds me of growth.  And not just the normal growing and learning that is part of my daily walk with the Lord.  I'm talking about growing where I'm planted, being where the Lord has placed me and investing my life here where He has me.  Using my gifts to further His kingdom, giving my time to serve Him and His purposes.

I don't know why I get so frustrated at that, though.  I mean of the many things I have learned about the Lord over the years, one of them is that He's persistant.  He pursues me.  He comes running to me, pulling me in closer and closer to Him.  So when there is something that He wants to tell me, it only makes sense that He would use every opportunity to remind me of it.

I suppose the better question for me to ask then is, "Why hasn't the message gotten through to me yet?"

Testify

"To this day I have had the help that comes from God, and so I stand here testifying both to small and great, saying nothing but what the prophets and Moses said would come to pass:" ~Acts 26:22

I find it extremely interesting that Paul is given free reign to make his defense in front of Agrippa, Bernice, Festus, and a whole slew of other people and while he makes a very good case of defending himself, he still manages to weave the gospel in and out of his argument.  I don't know if that is something that I would be able to do so fluidly if I were on trial with my life on the line.

Even more intriguing, though, is verse 22.  I don't remember reading this verse ever before, but it strikes a chord in me.  "Testifying both to small and great..."  Wow, he really just said that.  I know that I am completely capable of praising God for the big things, of shouting about the big things from the rooftop, because those things are so big and it is so glaringly obvious why they are such blessings.  But when is the last time I got really excited about the little details that God puts in our lives.  When is the last time I testified about the small stuff?  Interestingly enough, the small stuff is what shows the world how incredible the God we serve is.  The fact that He cares about the small stuff, He takes care of the lilies of the field, His eye is on the sparrow.

It's not the difference between my God and all the other gods that people worship.  It's the difference between the God who IS and the God who is MINE.

Can I get a witness up in here?!

Confession

My mom was raised Catholic and one of the traditions of the Catholic church is to go to confession.  The priest gives you some task to do to make up for the sins that you confessed and you move on - never to do those sins again!

I grew up in several churches, but in one specifically where confession was encouraged as a part of daily walking with the Lord.  This wasn't because it was intended to make us better or less sinful.  Rather, I understood it to be more of a 'getting things off your chest' kind of thing.  Call me crazy, but confessing to things I have done makes me feel better!

I have gotten out of the habit of that because recent churches I have attended have not so much down-played the idea of confession, but just haven't pushed it.  They focus a lot more on getting people to have a relationship at all with God.  And to be honest, listing out the sins you've committed - even to God - is a hard thing to do because it makes them real.  But, then I read in Acts this morning:

"So I always take pains to have a clear conscience toward both God and man." ~ Acts 24:16

Wow, Paul, why did you have to go and do that?  I was doing just fine, pretending like my sin wasn't that bad because I haven't murdered anyone, and then you go and say something like that.

I know he wasn't perfect, but Paul is definitely one of the Christians that I look up to.  And if he is saying that he tries to confess his sin and keep right relationship with God and man, then I think I want to follow suit.  Tough times ahead...

Sanctified

I believe that the Bible is very clear about God's nature - specifically what His priorities are.  One of God's top priorities, if not His #1 priority, is to bring glory to Himself.  If someone says that about me, that's a terrible thing.  But with God, it's a terrible thing if we can't say that about Him.

Anyway, since that is such a huge priority on God's list, probably one of our highest priorities should in turn be to bring glory to God.  It's what we were made for, the Baptist catechism would say it is "the chief end of man."  I have really thought about that for a long time because it is really hard for me to get my head around the idea of glorifying someone more than me - I go to S.A. (Sinner's Anonymous - meeting on Sunday mornings at a church near you!) to deal with it.

As if that weren't a hard enough thing for me, I stumbled across a verse in Leviticus 10 that really has been eating at me and making me come back to my priorities and look hard at what I do with my attentions and affections.

"Then Moses said to Aaron, 'This is what the Lord has said, "Among those who are near me I will be sanctified, and before all the people I will be glorified."'  And Aaron held his place."

What?  You mean regular people who aren't Christians are glorifying God?  Yes.  All of His creation shouts His glory just by existing and being His creation.  So, that is something that I still  need to seek with my life.

But what really made me stop and think was "Among those who are near me I will be sanctified."  That brings all kinds of thoughts to my mind, but the biggest one of all is that because I am a Christian, because I know the incredible qualities of God, because I am near to Him, I need to be sanctifying God with my life.

Now, I wasn't sure what sanctify meant.  I had a general idea, but I looked it up to be sure.

"to set apart, to make holy"

I'm not saying that I can make God more holy by doing something, but where is my focus?  Am I seeking to set Him apart in my life, to lift Him up to the place He deserves?  Or do I put myself on a pedestal and set myself apart as special?  Am I seeing God as holy, worthy of praise, deserving of glory?  Or do I treat Him like a parent or grandparent who is supposed to praise me when I do something good?

I have this whole new mindset now.

You Lead, I'll Follow

I love knowledge.  Plain and simple, knowing things and learning things is fun to me, and so I love knowledge.  Maybe I'm a transplant from the Enlightenment era...Anyway, I have been thinking a lot lately about what to do with my future.  I've earned my undergraduate degree in mathematics, but I want to get a Master's and possibly even a Doctorate.  The problem is, I have no idea what those should be in.  Long story short, I was playing the proverbial violin and singing my sad sad song to Beth, and she piped right up to say something that, to be honest, I really didn't want to hear (it works that way too often!).  She said, "Don't you say all the time that we need to grow where we're planted?"

Grr...I hate when she's right!  Especially quoting me!!

All that to say, truth is hard to hear sometimes, and Beth is really good at smashing my violin, slapping me in the face with it, and making me wake up from my self-pitying world - which I would say is a good thing all the time.

Then, as if that weren't enough, God does the same thing this morning (when do I get pity, again?).

In Exodus 40:34-38, Moses is describing the method of travel for the Israelites as they are moving closer to the Promised Land.  I always knew they had the cloud of smoke by day and the pillar of fire by night, but I never saw this,

"Throughout all their journeys, whenever the clooud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the people of Israel would set out.  But if the cloud was not taken up , then they did not set out till the day that it was taken up."

Not only are they following wherever God leads them to go, but they are waiting when He stops.  And in the mean time, while they are waiting they are worshipping.  From what I understand, this is the point when Israel begins corporate worship; so they move forward when God says more forward, and they wait and worship when He says wait.  I'm pretty sure that God is telling me I should be patiently waiting on Him to move forward with this Masters, even with what it will be when I get it.  I think He's even telling me that I should be patiently waiting on Him anyway, worshipping and growing where I am, instead of trying to run ahead of Him.

Lesson learned, God!  I get it!!

Serves me right for getting that violin out...

Trust

I was reading an acquaintances blog in which they talked about all the things they are doing to save money and worries about a second job to make ends meet, and I realized how fortunate we are to be in the position we are in, especially with the economy the way it is.  We budget and plan how much we will spend each week, trying to stay within a certain amount, but we don't really have to pinch pennies.  We save quite a bit each month and life comfortably within our means - and I don't really ever take the time to appreciate that gift.  God has really blessed us and all I can manage to do is find ways to be unhappy and ungrateful about it.  What a sad thing for me to realize about myself!

...

As I was sitting here typing and thinking out loud a little bit, I realized that I was about to make an entire post of complaints.  Things in my life that I wish were different, things I wish were better, things that I don't like about myself or others...negative, negative, negative.  It reminds me of a re-write of an old hymn that I learned once,

"Gripe and complain, gripe and complain, why be happy in Jesus? when you can gripe and complain!!"

I know, it's stupid.  But it reminds me of an important truth.  I am called to live my life in a way that glorifies my Father, and the only thing that I do by complaining all the time - even if no one hears it (you know, the tree in the woods...) - is show the people around me that I think my God isn't big enough, isn't capable enough of meeting my needs.

The truth is though, He is SO big!  He is SO capable!!  Why is it so hard for me to truly trust Him with the life that He gave me in the first place?  I'm not even guaranteed the next breath I breathe, so why am I wasting them on complaints?